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Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby

Posted by fallsfall on August 15, 2003, at 12:23:03

In reply to Why bother with therapy?, posted by stebby on August 15, 2003, at 11:00:07

How long have you been in therapy with your old and new therapists?

I left my first therapist because of some very painful transference feelings that were not being dealt with. I was with my new therapist probably 5 or 6 weeks when I felt the SAME transference with him. I was amazed. I was amazed at the speed, and I was amazed at how identical the two transference experiences were. My new therapist is psychodynamic (my old was CBT, she didn't really "do" transference) - and he was able to do something in about 20 minutes that made me feel SO much better. I couldn't really listen to what he was saying, because I was experiencing it, so I can't really tell you what he said.

So my experience is that therapists with different theoretical orientations have different abilities to deal with certain issues.

I also think that it is true that my first therapist taught me some things (i.e. coping skills) that my new therapist might not be able to do.

You do have options. Before I left my first therapist, I consulted with a therapist that I had for group therapy years ago. She happens to be Psychodynamic. She calmed me down and helped me to organize myself so that I could start to deal with this. Have you talked to your current therapist in detail about your problem? I believe that I thought that I was being clearer with my first therapist than I really was (though I don't think it would have made any difference).

You are in a really hard position, but there are things that you can do:

1. Talk more to your therapist
2. Talk to a different therapist
3. Talk to a therapist with a different orientation
4. Ask your pdoc what he thinks you should do (I did this and he said I should leave - and they were across the hall from each other)
5. Read about transference (Try Dinah's recommendation: "In Session")
6. Eat ice cream
7. Eat more ice cream

Note that I didn't include "Hurt yourself". I truly do sympathize. But it really won't help the situation at all, and I think that you are worth more than that. There are other things that will be more productive.

I have been in transference hell. Let me know how it goes.




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