Posted by Dinah on June 7, 2003, at 11:51:43
In reply to Re: But if I do bad things, aren't I bad?, posted by Dinah on June 7, 2003, at 11:39:22
I have a fear of vomit.
This week we went to the beach, which I associate with Spring Break. Ok, I know it probably isn't accurate to assume that every inch of the hotel, hotel room, and beach was covered with vomit, but you get the idea. Plus people throw up off the side of boats into the ocean.
Ok, I know that spring break was a while ago. And the hotel has been cleaned. I know that the ocean is a big place and fish probably eat the vomit anyway.
I did the right things. I played in the surf with my son, I made sand castles. I slept in the hotel room. My clothes fell on the hotel room floor and I wore them anyway. I let my son walk in his socks aroung the hotel and then get in his bed. I acted ok. I reminded myself of all of those things that I knew that made my fear of vomit unreasonable.
But there wasn't one second there that I wasn't aware that the entire place was contaminated by vomit. As the sand and water got *everywhere* there wasn't one minute I didn't feel contaminated. If you were to ask me if I had a good time, I would say yes, it was terrific. But at some more visceral part of myself I would acknowledge no, I didn't. I could barely sleep and the whole vacation is just surrounded in a miasma of vomit for me. I hated that vacation. I hate going to the beach.
I've been dealing with this fear for close to thirty years. I've exposed myself to this degree many many times. I can hold the bowl when my son is sick without running away screaming. I can do my breathing to keep from panicking.
Can CBT offer me anything else in this area?
poster:Dinah
thread:230572
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030529/msgs/232157.html