Posted by mair on January 29, 2003, at 12:29:11
In reply to Re: Why can't you see more than one therapist at once? » jane d, posted by Dinah on January 29, 2003, at 11:48:17
Dinah - there are a couple of things I wanted to add both to my earlier post and also in response to your post to Jane.
First, although it may have been relevant that my 2 therapists were affiliated, I actually think of more relevance is whether these are therapists who are willing to work out any issues you have with regard to them or the therapy they are offering. I carried around alot of anger and no small amount of confusion that never got flushed out or addressed. I felt uncomfortable raising some of these issues and so I didn't. My current therapist is absolutely relentless in her insistence that I raise issues I have with her or with the process of therapy. If I don't raise them, she does. So for me anyway, she is a better fit certainly in this one respect.
Also, how much of this is really about equivocal feelings you might be having about your own therapist and are afraid to raise with him directly for fear of his abandonment? When I decided I wanted to go back into therapy, I had to figure out how to do that without hurting Therapist #1 who was still my pdoc. I was still pretty concerned about hurting his feelings and yet I really didn't want to start up with him again. The way I dealt with that was to tell him that I wanted some therapy that was far more directed and of shorter duration. I knew that wasn't his strong suit. He recommended my current therapist who did try some CBT with me. It became pretty clear to her fairly quickly that CBT wasn't in and of itself, going to work for me. I always sort of felt like I came to her under false pretenses or something even though when I started with her I thought what I needed was just some basic stress management.
Is it possible that your ongoing fears of impending abandonment are a real barrier to making any further progress with this therapist? I don't think there's anything unique or wrong with your desire for therapeutic stability. It's one thing to have these fears, it's another matter altogether to have them intrude on and impede, in a significant way, the therapeutic process.
I was always greatful to Therapist #1 for helping me out so much when I first got sick. However, I think my overarching sense of loyalty AND my discomfort and reluctance to address relationship and therapy issues directly with him caused me to stick with him probably longer than I should have.
Mair
poster:mair
thread:2321
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021230/msgs/2331.html