Posted by jasongitar on November 1, 2008, at 7:16:43
First of all I don't want to bore anyone or waste anyones time, so please don't read if you don't feel like reading a long post. This isn't to tell my life story or gain any sympathy. Basically it's about how my brain has worked from past to present and to give the reader an idea of what might be going on. You may find me repeating myself, rambling, and some misspellings, sorry :)
I have seen and spoke to doctors and professionals about this and they all agree that I have some type of neurotransmitter imbalance and need some type of medication to get my brain working properly. So here is my story, I came here to maybe see if someone could hear me out and give me their advice and opinion as to what type of medication or supplements might be good for me to try under doctor supervision of course.
I have noticed that ever since I was a kid I have had extreme addictions starting with candy, sugar, then food, I was addicted to it like a drug, which then led to being overweight and all kinds of helth problems like high blood pressure and sleep apnea, then I got into looking at porn, smoking cigarettes, spending money, love addictions (jumping from one relationship to another). Seemed like a major lack in dopamine may have been inluencing me to do this.
I tried smoking marijuana at 16, 18, & 23 and all 3 times I got out of this world anxiety, the worst panic I have ever experienced, which led into deep deep depression and de-realization.
I have tried SSRI's like Zoloft, & Paxil and it just seemed to make me way way worse with majorly increased anxiety leading me to believe that my serotonin levels did not need to be raised
I have tried Benzos like klonopin, and Ativan and it really didn't change anything except made me really tired and total loss of sex drive, didn't seem to help my anxiety or make it worse.
The things that do help are excessive exercise (at least 2-3 hours per day), sleep deprivation (only sleeping 1 or 2 hours per night, only works about one time a week), Wheat beer and some Hard Alcohol, Hi fat/calorie foods like ice cream/pizza/fast food/etc., sex deprivation as in the Taoist way, falling In love, spending money. From this description and all of my research it would seem as though I have an addiction to dopamine and PEA producing elements. Also my Dad was a big smoker, relationship addict and beer drinker. My mom and her mom have had a history of anxiety and depression.
When I tried taking Sam-e years ago it really really helped temporarily, then I tried taking it again and got pretty bad anxiety, smoking cigarettes with beer really helped to the point where I actually totally felt normal, but when I stopped all of my symptoms returned, and returned with a vengeance. I have tried smoking again, but it always starts with really bad anxiety, probably from the adrenaline rush produced by the nicotine, I suppose I could get use to it again if I kept trying, but then I'll be a smoker. I have tried every diet known to man and even lost 100 pounds, but the lack of calorie rich foods seemed to spiral me back into a low low depression.
My current symptoms are De-realization/De-personalization (which is the worst symptom, if you are not familiar with this, it basically feels like you are constantly in a dream state looking through a foggy glass window partially separated from your body, they recently made a movie about it with Mathew Perry called "Numb") anxiety, depression, some OCD symptoms, lack of focus and memory problems, some anger and temper issues. I have a beautiful girlfriend who has alot of these same issues (makes me wonder if we are attracted to others with similar brain chemistries)
Supplements and medications I want to try are-
PEA(phenylethylamine), Mucuna Pruriens, Parnate, & maybe Wellbutrin all of these seem to play a role in the dopamine making factor. I guess I'm just concerned about the anxiety reaction.
Do these sound like some good things to discuss with my doctor about trying? I'm 32 years old and desperately looking for some answers, I'm so so tired of suffering, I don't want to get mixed up into a worse addiction to try and self medicate. My stress levels are off the roof, I can only handle about 1 day of work per week. This is no way to live. I appreciate any advice or words of wisdom.
poster:jasongitar
thread:860169
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/neuro/20080706/msgs/860169.html