Posted by zenhussy on April 14, 2008, at 0:02:46
In reply to Kid A is now with SAR, posted by zenhussy on February 22, 2008, at 22:38:34
he is thought of daily and missed ever so much w/ the smallest of things bringing about reminders of his ways.
he loved deeply and shared these (often mis)adventures in love. sending support and lending an ear, being his friend wasn't easy but it certainly was never boring! he tested the very limits of so many things in order to feel something other than the painful depression he lived w/ on and off for as long as he could remember.
there's so much of him scattered netwise that is almost comforting in a way...yet pain comes anew w/ each discovery.
he was talented beyond his years. his recklessness was his way of living through the pain...living w/ his disease(s)/disorder(s).
he fought the uphill battle of one underinsured in this great USA. he tried so hard for so many years depsite the challenges each new state, country, insurance plan brought his way. he tried.
it isn't easy letting go of someone who was a close friend. that he was living out on the coast two years ago and sharing his fav. movies and music seems like only yesterday and then sometimes like eons ago. it was great to share meals. he ate well while in CA and his company was that of a great friend who understood w/o having to explain.
it would be wonderful if friendship alone could help keep someone alive...I tried...knowing it wasn't possible yet it was important to remain connected through the thick and thin.
the medications, the doctors, the hospitals, the ambulances, the police, the mental health hotlines, the psychologists and therapists, sites like this one and so many other people saw his illnesses up close and personal...we all tried...we didn't fail him...he fell victim to self medicating and unfortunately the drug(s) he chose ended up killing him.
he got to see City Lights in SF and purchase some book that he raved about is one cherished memory...he took the dog to the beach at sunsets and recalled that as one of his favourite things from the time he spent living in CA.
those are the memories that keep a smile going depite the tears flowing.
RIP dear Kid A....may you find peace w/ your mother and w/ SAR and w/ all those you loved who went before.
this is but a tiny portion of the wild and wonderful yet pained and torture filled life you led. sorry to not do your life more justice w/ words here.
your friend from way back when and right until the end = (
zh
poster:zenhussy
thread:814199
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/grief/20070414/msgs/823181.html