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why flowers are not left on the grave

Posted by BeardedLady on October 5, 2002, at 11:14:00

In reply to Would anyone like to tell me why...., posted by alii on October 4, 2002, at 23:58:51

When I was little, I was told that we were not supposed to put flowers on the graves because they were living things, and we weren't supposed to associate that with death. I later learned that, because flowers die, it makes it look like no one has visited in a while. A pile of rocks, on the other hand, stays put and simply accumulates.

My husband and I leave rocks we've collected from around the world, ones that have special meaning for us and are beautiful.

I visited the graves at Dachau concentration camp and was appalled to see the flowers; I thought it so disrespectful. Then I realized it wasn't a world-wide Jewish custom. It's funny how our world-views are really narrow little windows.

My favorite custom is the covering of the mirrors, so mourners can't see their grief.

long-winded beardy




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