Posted by finelinebob on September 10, 2006, at 0:51:23
In reply to Now I know my purpose in life..., posted by Racer on September 8, 2006, at 21:15:00
> I'm here as a warning to others, an object lesson, a role model for misery.
>
> At least, my T told me last night in front of the group that, despite two people in the group saying they felt disconnected because I was crying my way through the whole group session, she was glad I was there, because seeing me was good for the other members of the group. That's when it hit me -- my purpose in life was before me all the time...And maybe you as well, but you were there and I wasn't so I have no context for judging. But that never stopped me before, so...
I reacted the way I did because of your first line. I have a violent (as in strong, not mean) reaction to comparing pain. It cannot be done. There is no such thing as an "objective" measure of pain, because pain is subjective and too primitive to be rational or rationalized.
But I'm going to offer an alternative hypothesis. If your T didn't mean it this way, maybe subconsciously she did. Or maybe consciously she did.
If you could get yourself to the session, knowing ahead of time you were going to cry through it and then actually crying through it, but still contributing ... well, for those people who felt disconnected, your T may have been pointing you out as someone who could be genuine within the group and, because of that, connected. If your show of emotion pushed them away, then they are choosing not to be in the group where you, painful as it may be, ARE choosing to be in it.
If she meant it well, maybe that is what she meant.
flb
poster:finelinebob
thread:684340
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20060827/msgs/684639.html