Posted by garnet71 on February 2, 2009, at 18:35:28
In reply to Re: Diagnose me (please) - recommendations? » Garnet71, posted by JadeKelly on February 2, 2009, at 13:59:38
Jade-It looks like no one else wants to diagnose me-my fate is in your hands..lol. I know you were being playful before-I am very playful like that too..just was having a bad moment :(
I was reading your last email...We are SO much alike...I even used these ~ ~ ~ ~ all the time too-until about a year ago. So I went back and read some of your posts-you are pretty gutsy there; you have the confidence. It's just post N relationship, it takes sooo long to find it again. Did you ever hang out on a narcisstic abuse recovery board? We all sound the same. The people we write about sound identical. It is bizarre. I think there should be separate diagnosis for victims of emotional vampires. After being a victim of both childhood abuse and domestic abuse, then N abuse-there is nothing that compares to having your soul sucked out of you like that. That's the only way to describe it.
Everyone goes through the period of questioning themselves.. and the over-analyzation post N. Maybe you just have not yet gotten past that stage. I was stuck in that stage for so long-I am now only beginning to emerge from it. So I came here to this online community after hanging out at an abuse recovery forum for a few years. I got so tired of focusing on N, talking about the experience. It's time to move on. Just want to get my self back he stole from me.
Still, I can't believe how unproductive I am. I used to accomplish in less than 2 days now what takes me a whole week to do. I even used to force myself to run over 20 miles per week-and I hate running. Shin splints for a year straight. Maybe lead came out of my bones from that..lol.
I have been through such worse times before; I am going to pull myself together RIGHT NOW and set a goal to write 3 pages of research tonight, starting at 8. I can do it. I'm even going to close this damn browser instead of just minimizing it like I always do.
I've just concluded that somehow, I've become a victim of my own self, if that makes sense. I lost my self esteem as a victim; but I am victimizing myself from the abuse effects.
I'm not sure if you got my last email; I don't get a copy in my sent folder and I always accidentally hit reply...so I'm going to send you my email address (after I finish 3 pages!).
Talk to you soon.
Your friend,
Garnet
poster:garnet71
thread:877609
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/alter/20081006/msgs/877699.html