Posted by honeybee on May 31, 2006, at 18:39:45
So, it's come to this.
My depression is quite awful and, though I haven't really run the gamut of medicines (effexor for five pretty good years followed by several bad tries to go back on; cymbalta which was ok; sam-e, which I'm on only barely, which I can't say that I like so much; lexapro for a mere week that made me more depressed), I'm rather terrified to go back on them because of concerns that I have (rational or not) about my liver, about my heart, about the long-term effects on my brain.
But my pdoc and I are at a crossroads. Though I'm fairly functional (my pdoc has told me that, though I cry upwards of 6 times a day, can barely think, and have suicidal thoughts from time to time (don't worry, I have discussed this with people who care; we have a plan/contract!), etc., I don't have major depression), I feel like I need to get out of this depression--and fast.
Since I live in New York and since some people have had such positive responses to it (though I respect and have seen the negative ones), I'm considering participating in the TMS study at Columbia. Six weeks (three with TMS; three additional if you didn't receive if during the sham period) commitment, plus follow-up therapy with an antidepressant.
Now, I'm considering doing this, but something's stopping me. (My brother, a therapist says, why not wait until it's approved by the FDA?) (My husband says, what is the benefit of this, directed at *your brain* as opposed to a pill.) (My mother: maybe your brother is right.) Perhaps it's the voices of the people who care about me who don't want me to do it because they don't seem to know much about the treatment and want the experts to help me. My psychiatrist has, thus far, only recommended that I get in touch with the people at the study site and discuss it with them.
My gut tells me to go for it. I've done a semi-experimental surgery before (I got a pleat in my esophogus: no more GERD! Thanks Dr. Starpoli!), so I'm not scared that this is in it's embryonic stage so much as I am that this is my brain and I just don't know whether or not it's going to help. The initial results, that 50 percent of the patients improved (this from the company that makes the machines) make me skeptical (as does the Mind Centre website). At the same time, I'm so hopeful that this might be a localized treatment for depression that might work for me. So tired of the effects of the ADs on my body...
Anyone have any thoughts? Pros? Cons?
Thanks to everyone...
hb
poster:honeybee
thread:651168
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/alter/20060428/msgs/651168.html