Posted by LOOPS on January 13, 2005, at 8:15:57
In reply to Re: Suddenly not doing so well...please read!, posted by Ktemene on January 12, 2005, at 20:59:03
things did get a bit better yesterday; the picamilon was a lifesaver and lithium orotate always seems to calm me down immediately (I am very sensitive to things). It was an effort to get up and go do something, but I did manage to get out and do something useful at last.
Things just made me flip out yesterday. We live in Chile, and most of the time I love it here, but sometimes I just feel so damned isolated. I speak the lingo, walk the Chilean walk etc. but I am still blonde/blue-eyed and stand out like a sore thumb. We've been here for 3 years now, but all the close friends I make seem to move away; the rest I don't have much in common with. And being a bit of a loner anyway, it is very easy for me to get completely isolated from people.
Didn't help that my husband went off suddenly up the mountain (he is an astronomer) for 5 days. I am used to this (don't mind it usually), but this time it was unexpected, and I wasn't mentally prepared. I know he'd rather be here, but that's the price you pay for having a great job/lifestyle.
I'm not allowed to work here (but I secretly teach the piano sometimes), and I always wanted the lifestyle we have - have lots of time to do my music composition etc. etc., but sometimes the isolation gets to me.
You see I am so desparate I am writing this to lots of people I don't even know.
Well, today looks to be a little brighter. I at least am feeling a little less scattered.
I do have taurine and niacinamide in the cupboard, and do use them now and then, but have found the taurine to make me a bit angry, and the niacinamide can make me more depressed (but only if I take too much). Picamilon is stronger I have found, more like a benzo without the sedation, but I can only take it for a couple of days at a time or it stops working so well.
Thanks for the support and reading this though - it helps a lot to know I can at least be heard by somebody!
Loops
poster:LOOPS
thread:441198
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/alter/20050101/msgs/441532.html