Posted by SaraP on January 30, 2004, at 17:27:01
In reply to Re: A Vast Array, posted by Wolf Dreamer on January 30, 2004, at 10:27:45
I don't like it when the focus is on me, or when unexpectedly I run into people I know. I could wing it and be fine, but I BLUSH! I get that stab of fight or flight feeling and then my face goes all red. I convince myself that no one notices, but every once in awhile someone says: why is your face all red? and then I get paranoid about it and think about it and it happens more. I don't get nervous about aggressive men, but attractive men, definately. The one man I fell in love with was the type of guy who was just always himself, never self conscience, and I felt very free to be that way when with him, he died though and I feel like I won't meet anyone that had that certain way of being. I really just want to be myself! On a very postive note: today I woke up with that very on edge feeling and thought oh man, all that money for all those pills and nothing is ever going to work and blah blah...I took the pills (doubled up on the buspar) and low and behold, no stabs of anxiety! Then I had to do the impossible for a Social Anxiety gal like me, I had to go across the street after work to my neighbors and thank him for snowplowing my driveway! I knew I had to do it last night and I was freaking out, but today i got hiome and went right over there and his wife let me in and they were very nice so I feel really good.
That distilled water sounds good, I'm going to look into that, the ole Brita is probably not cutting it!
Good for you about sugar! I have cut down alot, but I still need my chocolate at night, and plus I drink, which is sugar in another form, but I have that managed to a reasonable amount too, I just can't hang out with drinkers or it gets unmanagable! Which means I am alone 99% of the time. Doesn't bother me much, yet.
So you were bullied as a kid? And now you fear "bad men?" I remember when I was little, I used to think there were 2 fears: bad men, or ghosts. Mine was ghosts. Now I stay away from scary movies like the plague!
poster:SaraP
thread:306176
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/alter/20040110/msgs/307447.html