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Re: Never mind. It is because posts have replies.

Posted by 10derHeart on November 30, 2009, at 18:20:40

In reply to Never mind. It is because posts have replies. (nm) » 10derHeart, posted by 10derHeart on November 30, 2009, at 16:08:19

No, don't never mind. I still don't get it.

Any given post in a thread could or couldn't have replies, last, first middle...so I am still lost...

For the record, I have loved the aspect of Babble that includes *no* editing. I do not like editing posts, and certainly not unless I can see the original always, and if so, I see no point in the editing in the first place, surely not for civility purposes. Why not just post a new follow-up post of clarity, apology or explanation? Ever think if someone needs editing to "save face" that there are bigger things going on than the constraints of Babble's rules and policies? One can say, in a civil manner, that one declines to apologize or reword, if one feels so very strongly that way. I have already seen it done.

I frequent 2 other communities (not MH related) one allows editing, one does not. With the one that does, not once have I been able to follow the flow of the conversation where several posts said: "edited at such-and-such a time." I just shake my head and move on, and from comments in those threads, it appears a common thing for participants to do is to have to PM each other to clarify things anyway.... I just didn't see the advantage it is so completely confusing remembering one thing, then returning to see another, trying to guess what is missing, what is changed...I never could have responded to one of these posts as I had in mind one thing, then whole segments were gone, other parts used new words....{shakes head} And I don't have the time or inclination to go around saving all sorts of versions of posts to refer to later. Yes, IMO, it is all quite crazymaking.

For the one that does (BTW, with VERY relaxed civility rules - only outright cursing and threats are banned, all forms of name-calling, accusations, etc., are generally tolerated until a mod seems to tire of it and posts to say, "quit it, that enough, change the subject.") there are a lot of contentious, *long* threads. But those who try to stay above the fray, they just ask for explanations, apologies, and clarifications, and a lot of times do get them. All transparent and there for all to follow - the good, bad, ugly, screwed up, impulsive and all. It's not as safe or kind without Babble-type civility rules in place, BUT the not-disappearing posts I do like a lot.

I do also think it is not a so-called or imagined responsibility we all have for all of ours words, impulsive and otherwise. I take it seriously and am willing to suffer the consequences. All of us are likely going to mess that up from time to time. When we do, I see great value in walking through the discomfort of a PBC, self-chosen apology or retraction, or whatever we have to do to fix things. I know others do, but I cannot see it as a punishment. Posters can be thoughtful and contemplative before they hit the confirm button, or they can send their posts to a civility buddy.

I see asynchronous Babble posts like voice mails. I tend to do this with my therapist sometimes. I call and leave a message, maybe angry, confused, upset, tearful, or just plain weird. Then I want to explain, so I call back - numerous times if I feel the need. It's awkward, but I know he has heard the first words, and I can't un-say them. Maybe there are VM systems where you can edit first (probably) but I have not used them, and probably wouldn't. I can see some value but...I can also see that maybe something richer even comes out of having ALL the words available. Even if this were a friend or relative, I think I would feel the same. I have left some not-so-great VMs over the years for those people,too, and had to (or wanted to) explain myself later. I survived it without permanent damage, I think.

Dr. Bob just say right now if you have already decided this? I get the feeling as does Dinah, that this is a done deal. After the recent upset, I am so very disappointed if this is it - a brief discussion involving at the most, 6 people (2 of which do not regularly post here at the moment, well,almost 3 if you count me) way at the top of the board, and that's all the input you desire? Do you have prior evidence this is really, really wanted??

I guess I should thank you for even mentioning it at all.

 

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