Posted by special_k on April 9, 2006, at 5:07:48
In reply to Re: Compromise idea.. » Dr. Bob, posted by muffled on April 8, 2006, at 23:20:35
> ***I tried.
You were supporting her.
> But she was torturing herself. And I do that sort of thing sometimes too. And its hard to stop.
Yeah. I know. I do this too. But... Nobody can *make* you stop doing that. A friend can only... Be there to hold your hand along the way.
> So there was nothing more I could do for her and I felt powerless
Yeah. It can be hard to see friends hurting. Real hard. I feel bad posting about how bad I'm doing sometimes. Because I know it is draining / hard for other people to read because THERE ISN'T ANYTHING THEY CAN DO TO CHANGE THE SITUATION. But... They can hold my hand along the way. They can invite me into their cave. And that helps. It does. Thats what friends can do...
> and it still seems so f*cking ridiculous to me that a source of torture and pain couldn't be removed or be more effectively dealt with.
Yes, that is a hard one.
I think that maybe...
It is about the point that people frequently request that posts come down for a variety of legitimate reasons:
- Because someone wants to use their posts as evidence against them in a court of law
- Because someone IRL has discovered who their internet identity is
- Because that could lead to all kinds of sh*t IRL
- Because they find something distressingIf he deleted posts everytime a person requested it (for a legitimate reason) then there wouldn't be any archives.
People find a lot of benefit from the archives. Current posters. Also people looking for information. People find medication information from the archives, people might find threads on transference or something and it might help them feel better by normalising their experiences. If people's posts came down... Then people wouldn't be able to benefit from them.
The archives aren't complete (I think stuff has gone AWOL on server changes etc...) But I think it is pretty amazing to read them... To see the boards evolving... I get to reading them sometimes.
So Bob is very reluctant to delete...
Hard thing to weigh...
Present hurt
vs
Benefit to othersWhat benefit to others?
They could read about how someone posts while drunk (or pissed off or whatever he was)
Really hurts someone (lessons in that...)
How the community rails around the hurting person...Hard to weigh...
If he deleted it / allowed it to remain deleted I think he would have been inundated from people who have requested deletions...
I think that is why he takes a fairly hard line with that.
Re privacy...
IMO good reason to advocate small boards that are only viewable to members and are not linked to google ;-)
poster:special_k
thread:624030
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060317/msgs/630832.html