Posted by alexandra_k on August 28, 2005, at 21:06:04
In reply to Re: does it really? » alexandra_k, posted by Gabbix2 on August 28, 2005, at 20:39:17
> I was referring to what you'd said to JYL.. "maybe you want to ask yourself that question"
> To me that was asking her to question why these posts had the power to upset her.
I understand that some people are upset. I'm not trying to imply that people 'choose' to feel upset and so it is their problem.
It is just that when people are very upset... upset enough to not care whether the way in which they express that results in a block or not...
Well then it might be time to have a look at what else is going on.Maybe I misunderstood... I thought the implication was that either it is Deneb's fault for purposely hurting people, or it was Dr Bob's fault for not blocking her.
I just thought that sometimes we need to take a little more responsibility ourselves.
Some people find a fair few of Deneb's posts upsetting. Fine. Stop reading them. Its that simple. Take the power back.
> I do agree that in certan cases a reprimand seems to help push the process of extinguishing certain behaviour along a bit, and I'm not against it.
Yeah. Its just that typically people attempt to do this to themselves. Beat themselves up for their stupidity or whatever. People typically use punishment. What is much much harder to get up off the ground is reward / satisfaction for good / appropriate behaviour.
It is hard....
How much should we be allowed to 'make' someone change because of our preferences?
I am not fond of punishment.
Well... That is to say I'm a little too fond of it in my own case. But when I am thinking relatively more objectively I realise that it actually isn't so helpful.
BAD BAD BAD just makes one want to hang ones head.Giving someone an appropriate alternative
Then praising thatWorks better...
But it is also true...
That it takes a hell of a lot more effort.It is true that this issue has come up before.
And the outcome of that...
Was the importance of trigger warnings.
I'm serious.
I don't think Deneb understood WHY suicide / attitude towards death is not acceptable
I don't think Deneb understood HOW MUCH it upsets some people.
The outcome was...
The importance of trigger warnings...
Though I'm not sure that she completely got precisely which topics (I dunno either)
She put them in this time.And that is improvement.
Slow, sure
But improvement.
I dunno whether she'll get a PBC or not...
Dunno.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:547337
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050823/msgs/547860.html