Posted by alexandra_k on May 22, 2005, at 20:30:31
In reply to Alexandra » Gabbi-x-2, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on May 22, 2005, at 19:37:30
(((Gabbi)))
I think you do understand...
I know you have issues with CBT theory.
I have issues with CBT theory too...
I don't like their idea that thoughts CAUSE feelings.
IMO that is far too simplistic.
And sometimes we can't control our thoughts anymore than we can control our emotions
And not all emotions are caused by thoughts (faulty or otherwise) to start with...
And besides which I hate the whole idea of 'faulty' thinking in the first place.The way you said it was fine.
I'm sorry,
I wasn't trying to get you to talk or write that way - I was just trying to make it clear the difference betweenAccusing / Attacking behaviour -> feeling hurt / accused etc
Where the causal chain is fairly much inevitable in the sense that MOST people would feel hurt if someone posted something where they were overtly accused or attacked.
And
Behaviour -> some people respond by feeling accused / attacked / hurt
BUT:
other people do not.
Here different people seem to respond differently...
My thought is 'what do all the people who respond by feeling hurt have in common?'
And 'what do all the people who respond by not feeling hurt have in common?'A lot of the difference seems to consist in the first bunch of people thinking that their response is an inevitable response to the behaviour.
But it isn't inevitable - because other people do not respond in that way.
The second bunch of people seem to have worked out some sort of story whereby Lou is attempting to better understand the civility rules.
Maybe that is what we are all trying to do...
poster:alexandra_k
thread:500533
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050517/msgs/501401.html