Posted by AuntieMel on September 28, 2004, at 15:53:30
In reply to Re: Interesting points - but..... » AuntieMel, posted by Larry Hoover on September 28, 2004, at 13:44:56
Youch. My bad. I said that (to Scott) because Scott said it bothered him personally. I certainly wasn't trying to invalidate anyone's feelings. If it felt like that to you, though, I apologize. Sincerely.
> The "do not harass/pressure" rule has been in existence for a long time. The issue is how to more succinctly define it. "I know it when I see it" doesn't work for most people. I can state, without equivocation, that it does not work for me.
I agree with you completely. Which is one of the reasons this rule bothers me. Dr. Bob himself has allowed that there might be exceptions. So I don't see where this defines it any better.
> In psychic terms, it's like someone yelling over other more genteel conversations taking place in a crowded room, demanding attention.
That's an interesting analogy. And very appropriate in some ways.
> I feel diminished if my language is dissected and minutely examined via requests to clarify. If someone does not get my point, I am more than happy to rephrase or expand on my thoughts. That is a different sort of request, though, than being asked to justify the particular use of a word or phrase when ambiguity of meaning is a core characteristic of language itself.
Certainly if a person wants to be sure that they understand you, saying what they don't quite understand can be quite friendlier - and more direct. And you are right that the thought process is what really needs to be understand, not the use of a particular word.
> I want a rule that helps me to feel protected, even if I never need to invoke it. It's a matter of consideration. There is no right answer. There are different answers. Unconstrained posting has been described by myself and others as problematic. You can consider my feelings, or not. I'm asking that you do. I'm asking you to consider the feelings of those who spoke of their distress, and who may have been silenced because their feelings are not being validated.
Everyone's feelings are valid. In fact, I've been known to present opposite opinions in case someone out there would like to disagree with the majority but can't bring him/herself to be the first one to speak up.
> I'm asking for a guideline. I was accused of violating the pressure/harassment rule, when I do not feel that I did. I feel that other posters have crossed the line into pressure/harassment without receiving sanction. Where is that darn line, anyway? It isn't nowhere. I've met it. But I don't know where I'll meet it again, and that bothers me a great deal.
Well, I didn't think you deserved the block either. And I think that ambiguous rules are nearly impossible to enforce evenly. I think it either needs to be rethought or there should be no exceptions. Otherwise, you are right. How will you know when you've crossed the line?