Posted by Waki on September 6, 2004, at 22:04:31
In reply to Lou's reply to Waki » waki, posted by Lou Pilder on September 6, 2004, at 19:26:26
Hi Lou,
I don't want to point out specific posts because it would cause the particular poster to defend their statement. Defense just perpuates more of what I saw.
I have been personally trying to avoid negitive vibes, and conflict, simply to help my anxiety dissorder.
There are hurt people out there from these posts, in which I had to look for myself. I can see why they are hurt, in which I thought I'd post the observation.
Read through the posts and look for words like "frustration", "maddening", "wearing on me", "being compassionate", "please be civil".
These words and phrases are all symptoms of conflict out of control.Debate and discussion does not have to be to the point that the above phrases have to be used or people have to be blocked.
The tongue can be more harmful then a sword, I am sure you know.
I practice a Japanese concept called "Kaizen", it means continuous improvement, ongoing improvement or change and improve.
I don't see any improvement out of 80% of the postings, I see conflict and consoling for damage done.
There was an excellent post to start a discussion posting for "relationships with others". This in my opinion is constructive, chaging and ongoing improvement.
Relationships is a great topic. It's ironic that I find serious relationship problems when I glanced at these postings.
Quick story:
One company I was doing a "turn-around" with had serious conflict with relationships among other problems. I finally figured out it was due to a failure to communicately correctly. Office people were literly emailing co-workers two desks down. Humorious as it sounds, I took some time out and had everyone stand up and introduce themselves. Everyone laughed in which I asked we try an experiment. For one month I asked that no one email each other. I cannot tell you what an improvement this made in relationships. I learned that emails can be hurtful if not carefully written.You see Lou, wars are started from lack of communication. First it's a difference of opinion, then it's lack of communication, then it's rationalizing one trying to be significant over the other.
I see no difference from a robber showing he's more significant to the victim with a gun verse someone hurting another with words.
I find there are four types of people.
1) Care and know
2) Don't care and know
3) Care and don't know
4) Don't care and don't knowI sincerely believe that posters who have hurt individuals fall under catagory 3. They care but did not know the negitive effect.
If I can change one person to not hurt another person then my posting was worth while.
Take care,
poster:Waki
thread:387262
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040902/msgs/387373.html