Posted by spoc on June 4, 2004, at 14:23:33
In reply to re: questions about Larry's block » Sabina, posted by fayeroe on June 4, 2004, at 8:30:09
>... You pick out the bad without acknowledging the good. >
<<<< Can I try to save a day or two by heading off at the pass what could be the next response? I feel it in the air...
"But there shouldn't be any bad... Bad is what isn't allowed here, even when intentions are good..."
I'll skip my opinion on that or going on about how oversimplified it would be. And just add to Sabina's statement if I may by saying that in Jimi's case, the "bad" was probably the incident/already-conceded effects he was referring to. Not so much his own words; or spontaneous, uncorroborated opinion. And he couldn't have referenced the many other examples of what passed civility muster there, since much of it was even stronger. If something has changed with the passage of time, he couldn't have known that. All this would have made a please rephrase/PBC seem sufficient.
While I'm here, and being as concise as possible (which is not my forte, surprise surprise), I may as well try to restate what I see as some of the most important questions Jimi asked. To help prevent the necessity of clarifying what the questions were, the essence of them is contained between the asterisks (but the other stuff does help put it in context):
QUESTION: ***Given respective histories and indicators, how and why is it so much more complicated or questionable whether Larry would be supportive on return, than it was in the other case?*** Apparently even SO much more likely in the other case than here, that even slipping back in early, against non-negotiable rules, was ok. That it was close to the reworked unblock date doesn't negate the bad sign there (for that matter, a few days is half a block for some). If all due to mercy, why there. And in relation, why only just possibly here.
The above would in itself seem to call for Larry's acquittal, and render moot of the necessity of a deliberation process. He is probably at worst guilty of occasional sternness (still mature and fair enough). Even then, probably only when responding to a tone already taken (but not to an extent that was clear handling of incivility with incivility). I think that irony is another thing Jimi was lamenting, that in Larry's case it looks like reducing a block is the harder decision. While at the same time, we are of course all glad that something with at least some public component -- announcement of a possibility -- is going down.
QUESTION (though no question mark): Then, Jimi also inquired as to ***why some people virtually stop receiving PBCs or please rephrases, while others get them routinely and often nothing else. Seemingly irrespective of severity or the presence of words with negative connotations.*** In the first case, whatever that person is alleged to do tends to be in a gray area that could just as easily have been seen in the better light. While in the second case, that person may seem to vent or express themself freely and pretty clearly outside the rules, but only receive continuing PBCs with no (or rare) subsequent block(s).
It is also said that once someone has been admonished, they are simply always watched more closely. But neither that nor time considerations address how these things can often happen in a pattern, towards either harshness or leniency. For any poster who has a history of blocks, PBCs or a combination, it is taking the same amount of time to monitor them more carefully in the future. But only some get the luxury of continuing warnings.
Many of us may indeed favor certain people in real life, even when we manage them. But that is rarely as openly "in the faces" of all the others as it is in a forum like this. OR -- based on the kinds of things it could conceivably be based on here, which are almost all very personal and likely to feel that way. That adequate preventive measures are necessary would seem to be obvious.
Ok, stop there if more will obscure the questions, which are up there somewhere along with other surely ripe pickins. But also I saw Auntie Mel's post pop in, so didn't want to miss an opportunity ....
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... to reinforce that (surprise surprise) I myself don't feel that with an entire right-thinking, qualified planet's worth of sources out there, time shortages serve as a suitable explanation. (Are good intentions and meaning well generally accepted as reasons for slips around here? :)Refusal to delegate can cause problems that some go to therapy just to work on. Besides impeding progress or even maintenance of what already exists, it can also feel like an underestimation of the capabilities of others. But that's a lot of others in this case -- posters would not even be the only source for assistance, and I am very willing to bet that qualified people would even help on a volunteer basis.
Yes, this IS one person's oyster to do with as he pleases. But since that oyster involves so very many other human beings (and by design -- tired line but true -- fragile ones), it would seem like any reasonable means of accomodating that would just be standard care. "The good of the many" would *also* be served by fairly addressing and finally putting this stuff to rest, so that successive generations don't have to be worried anew about it or disheartened.
I don't mean for any of this to be other than contructive, or to throw the baby out with the bath water. In our lives, I think most of us have had -- even at several times -- someone who appreciates and generally thinks the world of us come to us and share an observation and suggestion over something we could/should improve. Something that may even hurt to hear... but maybe because it's true. Then we realize it, fix it, and know it was all good and right.
poster:spoc
thread:346427
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040527/msgs/353802.html