Posted by Greg on December 10, 2000, at 11:25:02
In reply to Re: Getting lost » Greg, posted by allisonm on December 9, 2000, at 19:17:12
Hi Allison,
Sounds like you're using a laptop? As convenient as they are for mobility, I'd much rather use my PC. I know what you're talking about with the dragging your finger. Mine has that stupid little button in the center of the keyboard and you have to use two buttons at the same time to get it to scroll. Technology....grrrr.
Sounds like even though things are a little tough, you are starting to make some headway. When it gets bad enough, remember that ever small improvements can be worth celebrating! I just started back on the WB myself, I have been having some pretty extreme fatigue and my pdoc and I thought it might help a bit. The jury is still out on that one.
You mentioned being self-critical, Don't you know that we are our own worst critics? I never live up to my own potential in my own eyes. But others tell me I'm doing a great job. Does your employer know about your dis-ease? Some people say it's none of their business and they're probably right. But I've chose to tell mine and it's been great for me. My employer has even taken the time to educate herself about BiPolar so she understands better what I'm going thru. I'm very fortunate I guess. Some would use the info against you. If you haven't already done so, would it be something you might feel comfortable with? Just a thought.
The Zyprexa and Neurontin are doing really well for me. I haven't had any severe mania or mood swings in over a month. I'm still at the 900 mg level with the Neu. If you feel you are getting some benefit from it but would like more, would your pdoc be willing to raise your dose to see what happens? You can always titrate back down if there is a problem.
Try to hang tough for the holidays, it does get over eventually. I'm not in the spirit either. I even bought a Grinch tie to wear to my wife's Xmas party the other night. You should have seen the looks I got.. :) I just wish it would be over...
Well, got to get back to packing. I'm going for a week of training in Boston this week. I'm hoping it'll turn into a working vacation and I'll be able to get in some serious sight-seeing. Dare I pray for a break in the snow....?
Take care,
Greg> Hi Greg,
>
> This probably will sound stupid, but I think part of my problem is that my bookmarks are all together and I am mouseless. If I don't drag my finger down the pad far/quick enough, I end up somewhere else and if I didn't notice, I start going through the board again only to stop and think "wasn't I just here?"
>
> Thanks for asking. I dunno. I've started exercising again, after dogged prodding recently by my pdoc. I have loathed being at work lately, feeling trapped, trying to figure where else I could work, but it feels like too much work to look. I have always been hyper self-critical, but often lately I have felt paranoid, like maybe my bosses think I'm not doing a good job either.
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> Still trying to determine what's normal feeling and what is influenced by depression. I think the Neurontin is working, but I don't know whether it is enough. I'm at 400mg/day of Wellbutrin, but only at 800mg/day for the Neurontin, so I guess there is room for more. I am able to laugh and be silly more than I have in a very long time, though, which feels good when it happens.
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> It doesn't help that the holidays are upon us. I don't have anyone close to celebrate them with anymore, so I go back and forth about whether to celebrate them at all. The last two years I stubbornly did what I always had when my husband and mother were here (no kids). This year I have spurts of enthusiasm, then I wonder what the point is. Why bother? It all feels like too much work. I've simplified things this year, but often it still feels like too much work.
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> How's the Neurontin working for you?
poster:Greg
thread:81
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20001124/msgs/87.html