Posted by Christ_empowered on April 25, 2022, at 12:03:41
not anti-meds, just...disillusioned, I suppose?
antipsychiatry is a big fail, anyway..at least, as an end point. skimming szasz is fun, sometimes...then it isn't. religion? pshaw. put "high functioning mental patient" under a growing category of "people who cannot really -do- church."
not to complain. i mean...what are the options, for me and patients kinda sorta like me, anyway? group homes? ha! for profit in my area...abuse sometimes gets so bad, the owners/operators face criminal charges and end up on the local news. so, no.
state hospital? -shudder- most of my state hospital is...no longer in operation, at all. good? bad? -shrug- the state hospital here just...was. not bad enough for federal oversight like many others, not good enough to be known for actually helping, just...
yup. another state hospital, occasional notable and/or notorious patients, the whole thing has mostly faded into...how we did things, till (latest development: "recovery model," because...keep hope alive, or...something...).
and, now? the general consensus is that I have Schizophrenia. but...what is Schizophrenia, anyway? -shrug- take your tranquilizer, please. not that I want to whine and moan and turn this into some angst-ridden, 60s 70s post...
just: this is it, isn't it? some people cannot work. i am one of them. my reason for not working is schizophrenia, which in my case -- given the context of 21st century usa, the decaying neoliberal capitalist order still seeking whom it may devour amongst the under class and pretty much anyone else, honestly -- this is something of a minor miracle, I think.
what's worse than being Schizophrenic, staring 40 in the face (its staring back...-hard- ...)?
poverty. confinement. wage slavery. sickness and misery, coupled with the contempt for the poor that is probably (?) worse in the US than in many other affluent nations, but seems to be...the way things go, without serious social and economic regulation to counter it. human nature? -shrug- who knows, honestly?
so...virginia woolfe says, at some point, "my madness saved me..."
Szasz -- probably looking to further his career by dissecting a brilliant, affluent dead woman's "manic depressive psychosis" -- targets her madness and also the concept of madness, itself.
what does madness "save" anyone from, anyway? "Schizophrenia," in my case, appears to be...
perhaps the only exit from the roles and labels society -had- for me, since...I dunno...middle school, maybe? "punk...should be put into juvenile detention...bright...too smart...," all that junk that happens, sometimes, to the weakest links in honors classes and such. perhaps -not- surprisingly: all downhill from there, till fairly recently.
tranquilizer, then...??? pretend as if there is much else, anyway, or would be much else, anyway?
Schizophrenia. E.Fuller Torrey -- he decided, it seems in the 80s or so, to stop imitating Szasz and get with the program, labels and confinement and tranquilizers, oh my! -- suggests that the family of Schizophrenics hold a funeral for their off spring, because...its over. :-(
cold...comfort? wow...not even comfort. but, now?
-shrug- in my own case, the schizophrenia seems to be a path towards...
a better life than I had as a bright eyed "loser"?
tranquilizer. on it. this just in: aripiprazole at 20mgs is a lot a lot a lot better than any other "atypical" ever was for me, but I do recommend avoiding aripiprazole at 30 for any extended period of time. its sort of like...minimally sedating drug induced hibernation. -shudder-
:-)
poster:Christ_empowered
thread:1119561
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20220128/msgs/1119561.html