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Re: marplan for anxiety rose45

Posted by SLS on February 3, 2022, at 11:29:27

In reply to Re: marplan for anxiety, posted by rose45 on February 1, 2022, at 8:49:14

Hi, Rose.

The remedy for your doctors' resistance to employing such a simple and benign treatment - low dosage lithium - might be as easy as using a computer, a printer, and submitting to your doctors on paper the results of your literature search using Google and Pubmed. The number of article you will find will be multitudinous. Identify the most persuasive literature that you find and submit it to your doctors. Tell them you are fighting hopelessness, and don't know how much longer you can hold out. That's a tactful way to convey to your doctors that if they don't try lithium, you might commit suicide. Unfortunately, this not an unrealistic description.

For today, I urge you to continue to struggle forward, at least for now.

My story is nothing less than one of miracles. God has a funny way of rewarding some people for their choosing to suffer indeterminate pain and struggle over death..

The severe depression I experienced began at age 17. It began as an abrupt *switch*. Within 30 minutes, I plunged from (relative) normothymia to severe and paralyzing depression. I was hit with hit depression, anxiety, and feelings of doom. It was an unfamiliar state of consciousness to me. It was genuinely traumatic. I remember looking up at the clock in my physics class. It was 10:50 AM. This time and place was the marker of the beginning of 46 years (16,790 days) of unremitting pain and struggle. I never really had time to catch my breath.

This was "flavor" of my depression:

Psychomotor retardation, anhedonia, amotivation, anergia, cognitive and memory impairments. It has been a fundamentally vegetative existence.

To be honest and accurate, I was close to remission for 6 months in 1987 as the result of treatment with a combination of two antidepressants. This was a critically important event, though. It became the carrot that impelled me to continue suffering while I chased the *possibility* of the nirvana that I learned would come with successful treatment.

I think I have been on 60 different drugs that were used in many more combinations. 1.5 years ago, in the summer of 2020, my doctor and I had run out of ideas. I always had 2-3 treatment ideas lined up just in case my current trial resulted in failure. The addition of Nardil to my treatment regime was the absolute end of the road for me. It was my last chance. Why would I expect it to work when the previous 60+ treatments failed? I had been on Nardil many times previously, and it was used in various combinations with other drugs. In 2009, I was treated with EXACTLY THE SAME DRUGS that I take now, but at DIFFERENT DOSAGES. 100 mg more of Lamictal and 15 mg less of Nardil would have given me 12 more years of life and 12 fewer years of pain and struggle.

Rose, I spent quite a bit of time composing this for you. Please allow my story to be part of your decision-making process and outlook. I don't want to see your name disappear from the board.



A start for you:

Some see things as they are and ask why.
I dream of things that never were and ask why not.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.




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