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Anyone here improved sluggish cognition with meds?

Posted by Radish on March 15, 2019, at 19:18:45

Too long didnt read version: has anyone found improvement of cognitive impairments after treating mental illness with medication, or from treating the cognitive impairment itself?
Slow processing, lack of verbal fluency, confusion, or other symptoms of cognitive impairment?

My cognition has been so bad. I am slow, mentally foggy, and cant hold up a train of thought when speaking or thinking. I cant follow what people are saying unless its simple, and I cant articulate ideas beyond a few words. Trying to explain anything, even something as simple as what happened to me earlier, makes me very overwhelmed so I give up. Typing my thoughts is easier because its slower and I can take time to choose my words and plan my thoughts. My long term and short term memory is bad and they always have been. My verbal fluency and verbal recall is sluggish especially when talking to someone. I cant think of anything to say to people, so I just tend to agree with people all the time or repeat what they say. I feel confused listening to people and forget what they said right after they say it.

All of this is worst when I interact with people I am not very close with, but its even bad with my long-term partner who I feel little to no anxiety around. All of this makes me feel slow and stupid and incompetent at jobs and when socializing. I cant connect with anyone or make friends or relationships. Combined with mental illness, this all affects every department of my life and greatly diminishes my quality of life. Im employed and have lately been attempting to become fiends with my coworkers. These problems persist despite knowing these coworkers for ten months now. My heart races and I sweat so much around them, so I know part of the issue is fear/anxiety, however when I take Ativan the anxiety is reduced yet the cognitive impairment does not improve at all, which means the social trouble persists! Ativan makes me not care as much and brightens my mood a little bit which allows me to peer out from my hole of depression and try talking to people. And again, when I talk with my partner who I am not anxious with, I still cant form complex thoughts and connect ideas and make associations and turn it all into words and string everything together into fluent speech. But I watch the person next to me do it like its like breathing and blinking, totally natural and instantaneous like the associations and ideas flow freely from an endless tap. And these are people with self-professed anxiety disorders. (But lately it seems everyone claims they have anxiety or are depressed.)

So again I dont know if these issues stem directly from my depression and social anxiety, or if my social anxiety stems from social incompetence that stems from my cognitive impairment. Its all complicated... too many moving parts involved to know anything about my mind. In order to have the will to live on, I have to believe this issue is one that can be alleviated with the right treatment. I see people who are quick-witted and funny and smooth in social situations and I wonder how their brains differ from mine. I hope my brain is just frying under the magnifying glass of depression and anxiety and avoidant personality disorder.

In grade school my report cards often remarked that I didnt complete work in a timely manner, as if it was a behavioural choice and not something beyond my control that I felt shame and frustration over. My mother is a slow processor, and its frustrating to talk to her because she is such a poor and lacking communicator. My father doesnt talk much, and when he does its utilitarian (like absent a personality) and he has virtually no emotional intelligence. I dont want to be like either of them. All of my siblings have pathological emotional and/or social problems.

Not really sure where I am going with this post so Ill end it now before it turns into my memoirs.


SP/SA
AvPD
TRD
Maybe GA


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poster:Radish thread:1103607
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20190206/msgs/1103607.html