Posted by baseball55 on September 4, 2018, at 17:51:56
In reply to Re: therapist hugs me after termination session, posted by widget on September 4, 2018, at 8:12:40
I ended therapy with a guy I was deeply attached to, mostly because I felt we had accomplished most of what was needed and I felt like he would be proud of me for ending. A few months later, I was crazy to see him again and, 7 years later, I still see him 5-6 times a year. I can't imagine not having him in my life. But he's 79 and I know he will retire soon. Your therapist is not your's to keep and that's a very hard thing to come to terms with.
When I tried to end back then, my therapist also said that he would miss seeing me and talking to me. Remember that they love you too, within the circumscribed boundaries of the relationship. My guy once said that you can't do long term therapy with someone unless you can find something you love about them. It's an intense and emotional process on both ends.
So the hug was just a way of expressing affection and saying goodbye. But even without the hug, it's natural that you miss him terribly. I know it's going to be hard on me when my therapist retires (or gets sick, dies). But he will and every time I see him and leave his office walking on air (because I just love talking to him), I try to remind myself of this.
poster:baseball55
thread:1100768
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20180728/msgs/1100809.html