Posted by meltingpot on August 3, 2018, at 10:41:32
In reply to Re: To Scott - Re Ketamine » meltingpot, posted by SLS on August 3, 2018, at 10:18:41
Hi Scott,
Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better, are you managing to do a bit more than lie on the couch now?
I'm really sorry to hear the intranasal esketamine didn't work for you, this illness is awful. I wish they knew why some drugs work for some people and not others.
I'm lucky in that medication helps me to work and study etc but they have never worked like they did in the past, where I actually felt joy and even elation sometimes. Maybe I'm asking for too much given how bad I feel when I don't take anything.
I'm thinking of trying Psilocybin next. I think I said before, I went to Amsterdam to try micro dosing with Magic truffles (same as magic mushrooms) as they are legal over there. I came off my meds to try them. They did diddly squat. was starting to feel like I was in a very dark place over there. Ironic because I went to the Van Gogh Museum with a friend, didn't feel like going but went because she wanted to go. Felt so sad for him, just kept wondering what they must have gone through in those days when they suffered with mental illness as they didn't have the medication we have now. I hope that if I was born in that time I would have died of some other disease before the depression came on.
I'm thinking maybe I didn't take enough of the magic truffles as I experienced no altered state of perception or anything. In the Psilocybin trial they will give me enough to trip. Having said that some people apparently don't trip because they don't have the right enzymes to convert the Psilocybin into the right thing so maybe I'm one of those.
What are your plans for the future, treatment wise ? Or are you just waiting to see what happens with this first?
It always strikes me as strange because I've seen in some of your messages where you say that often with your depression, your cognition, memory etc is affected, yet your messages are always so eloquent, so articulate and you always sound so knowledgeable. I know some people who don't have a mental illness who seem to have worse cognition than yours.
Denise
poster:meltingpot
thread:1100096
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20180728/msgs/1100098.html