Posted by baseball55 on November 1, 2017, at 21:23:09
In reply to Re: thinking of making a change » baseball55, posted by beckett2 on October 31, 2017, at 19:40:54
> baseball, since you're here, may I ask about your use of Abilify-- as in how you use it and to what effect?
I was really disabled by depression. I barely got out of bed for weeks on end except for periods of extreme agitation, when I would ruminate frantically on suicide. I made two suicide attempts. It was a miracle I didn't die the second time. I spent months in psych wards. The only thing that consistently and very quickly pulled me out of this were some of the AAPs. Of those, I tolerated abilify best - it didn't make me tired or logy. But on all of the AAP's, including abilify, I would start gaining huge amounts of weight - 1-1/2 to 2 pounds a week. I hear people say these drugs increased their appetites, but that was not the case with me. I ate no more, exercised more because I felt better and still gained weight. Over a year, I gained 55 pounds.
When I started parnate, I felt much, much better. But parnate doesn't always hold me and I can have these sharp dips, even with lamictal on board. So I've found that, when I feel my mood starts to go south, if I immediately take abilify, it will pull me back within a couple of days, as it always did. But I don't use it for more than two weeks because of the weight gain. Mostly, with parnate and lamictal, as well as the other emotional regulation tools I've learned over the last several years, the abilify seems to kick-start my own survival mechanisms. At least enough to keep at bay the suicidal ideation..
Truly, I can live with some depression. It's the suicidal ideation that destroys me. I felt tortured by it. I felt like my mind had died and I just needed my body to follow. So having that burden lifted has made my life so much better.
poster:baseball55
thread:1095641
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20161215/msgs/1095690.html