Posted by Tabitha on July 22, 2016, at 14:13:24
I've been off the SNRI for at least a week now. Just on lamictal+lithium. It's hard to decide whether I feel better or worse since the taper. I thought I felt calmer, less agitated. I was finally making progress on some projects. I was convinced I could finish those projects and finally feel useful and functional again, and have a thing to say to the question "what do you do?" or "what's new?" or whatever. I realized how important work is to me for personal satisfaction and a sense of pride.
Then the last couple days I was very upset and crying all day long. My thinking had latched onto a problem in my life and made it huge and horrible. It seemed very real. I wrote about it, and my writing seemed clear-headed and solid, making me more convinced it was a real thing and not a distortion. I mean, it felt like my dog died or something, just to make an analogy, just an awful thing I would start crying about if I even thought about it at all. Then the state abated and the huge horrible thing started seeming like a small to medium problem again, not even worth bringing up.
I'm really discouraged. I see my pdoc next week, and I don't want to describe this, because what will he do anyway? I feel like it's just a meds merry-go-round at this point. Just trial and error, maybe he'll use some new med he's come across, maybe nothing. Then new side effects, and possible new effects, or no effects. It's so difficult (impossible?) to even tell what the new med is doing versus what's just my condition fluctuating.
Not even sure why I'm posting. Just describing things to people who might recognize such experiences I guess.
poster:Tabitha
thread:1090734
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20160713/msgs/1090734.html