Posted by bleauberry on January 30, 2014, at 10:27:29
In reply to Eye Contact Please Help!, posted by thumb8822 on January 28, 2014, at 14:24:40
Eye contact is hard for all of us, I think. It's a natural defensive mechanism to look the other way when we are feeling lousy. Low self esteem, guilt over the psych issues, fear....these are all of Satan, not of God. So right off the bat, you know you are under attack from the evil side. Anxiety, same. The *ssh*l* attacks in both physical and mental ways, whatever ways we are vulnerable to and is easiest. Our job is to fight back!
I do not feel a medication will improve the eye contact thing. That is a learned thing, a trained thing, a practiced thing. It doesn't just happen, and it is not triggered into action by a medication.
A mirror could be a good friend for you. Practice. See what others are seeing. Adjust your expressions to get them the way you want them. Stare at your own eyes and pretend it is someone else. Practice.
I have always had a hard time looking someone in the eye, and I have usually been the shy quiet guy in the corner. My years working in a big box retail store cured all of that. The most helpful thing to me was observing how other employees did it and made it look so easy. I watched them, learned from them, and practiced what I saw.
The only way to change something is....to start changing it! You can do that. It will take purposeful effort and it will be worth it. It will feel unnatural. It will feel awkward. But not forever. The more you do it, the more natural it becomes. And then eventually it indeed becomes natural without so much effort and without so much thinking about it.
A mirror can help. If you have someone in your family, or a friend, who you trust and feel comfortable, have them get involved and be your practice buddy.
And here is a perspective to consider.... When you look away from someone, afraid to look in their eyes, guess what they see....a shy person? No. A fearful person? No. They see a stuck up snob too good for anyone else. Think about that next time you turn your eyes away from someone.
> I have this problem, eye contact, I can't make any! And when I do make eye contact, i bulge my eyes to look at the person and it looks so freakin weird, i have social anxiety but Effexor has helped big time, is there any meds or Anything that can help?
>
> Regards
> Matthew
poster:bleauberry
thread:1059775
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20140123/msgs/1059938.html