Posted by brk23 on January 25, 2014, at 5:19:19
In reply to Re: Cocktail thats working for me...brklyn23 » brk23, posted by SLS on January 25, 2014, at 3:21:17
Hey Scott suzie says hi.
First not to offend anyone since it might be a location issue,but the pdocs here are horrendous,many of them work our of a single building therefore all pretty much follow the same routines.9 of 10 times you will find a p doc who will not let you be a part of treatment and in fact many will become defensive and difficult if any interest of it is shown,its returned with harsh treatment like medication requests instantly being denied for no logical reasoning.It comes to the point where you just find it easier to sit there any play dumb and let them stroke their ego.
I stumbled across Ultra Radeon and i was like ill be damned if that isnt me to a T.Two things happen with me,i have the many meds i mentioned on hand and doing well , or one or two are missing and im simply bed ridden out of commission.
I know to some it sounds like some large list but every drug has been carefully and painlfully discovered and added,each one is plays its own crucial one,no one is more important then the other.So when i seem to simply not have them all as i stated its not ultra radeon its lights out im down.
When i do have them and feeling well,the high will be joy,sense of well being,excitment for life,the desire to attack life,to socialize,to EXSIST.
The problem is however as the hours pass its almost like a demon behind me whispering have your fun now but im still here behind ya knock knock,i use mental excecise and that and my meds are enough to help,but itll start to seem like ,hmm like a bouncer at a club,evil men trying to get in,he uses lots of strentgh to keep the door from opening and letting them in,so calm remains in the club,hence my mind,however the consistant attempts of the evil guys trying to get in seem to
appear at random and it just makes for a rough time.Im hoping a mood stablizer can elimnate that feeling and let me enjoy my semi remission.The only one that doesent ruin my anti depressant effect is gabpentin.But as u know its considered useless however i find value in it when combine with klonopin, a synergy.
A second problem im working is rage,i let things build until i snap and then at 280 pounds of a weight lifter explode around people i care about and it just needs to stop.
NOTE : The one drug that totaly stablized my remission totaly was called mxe.It was a cousin drug of ketamine and actualy considered more potent.
At the time i used it you had a pick of the tons of site that sold this 40 doller drug.
It even elimnated my anger.However as a trend seems to exsist once big brother finds out something is working its pulled away,today mxe is just a online memory.
Also whats odd is the xyrem,i take all the mentioned meds,and it is almost non exsistant,then with a pin drop of xyrem its almost like a light switch is turned on,all the meds begin to work i feel each one working and it will not ever do this without that pin drop of xyrem,pretty odd dont know if its a me thing or what.
Hope your doing well as so with the entire site.
poster:brk23
thread:1059470
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20140123/msgs/1059478.html