Posted by jcowen on October 17, 2012, at 23:10:30
I'm at a crossroads. I'm 35 years old and I've been taking valium 15 mgs daily for 6 years. I tried everything before it. The SSRis did not help me one bit. Ativan made me severely depressed. Klonopin had the same effect. I felt I was backed into a corner. I had to do something in order to function daily.
I don't misuse my medication. I take the same dose at the same time every day. It controls my over anxious brain from burning anxiety and the random moments of terror that used to plague me. I feel good. I feel normal. I feel like I have a life free of abnormal anxiety, and yet I'm scared. I'm scared of the day that will come when a doctor will no longer prescribe it for me. I'm fearful of the day when it will no longer work... That I will become tolerant to its anti-anxiety properties. I'm scared of the withdrawals... I think of these things every day. What will I replace it with? I've tried most everything else. I have had panic attacks and anxiety since I was 9 years old. I feel like an addict talking about it like this. I'm just ashamed that I ever even started it.
I don't know where to go from here. I have not found anyone with anything positive to say about longterm benzodiazepine use. The literature and common medical belief doesn't support me. It seems that I am damned no matter what decision I make. Do I taper now or wait for tolerance and really experience hell? I need some help...
poster:jcowen
thread:1029012
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20121009/msgs/1029012.html