Posted by AlexCanada on September 16, 2012, at 16:10:34
Zoloft Sept Experience: Day 3- duller emotions, cognitive impairment in some manner too. Apathy. Lack of empathy. Day 4- really hard to think. emotions flat. insomnia issues. bit of head burning on day 3 during insomnia. Libido been extremely low. Day 6- zoloft induced insomnia seems gone. still very lousy overall. even gabapentin didn't help much today and yesterday. possibly worse as zoloft keeps building up. no more headaches though. likely was due to parnate withdrawal. difficult to think, emotionally numb. sometimes anxiety. Day 10- Emotionally very numb. Very poor cognition. Difficult to think. Mind feels blank often. Libido dead. Apathy. Feel very dumb. So far I am definitely worse on zoloft. Mood has less fluctuation. Mood is more consistent... consistently dull dumb unmotivated uninterested and tired. Very anti-social. Cannot relate to others. Difficult to care about anything.
That was a basic summary. I am not optimistic about results. I am hoping some kind of response comes soon but these days are really empty dull lousy. So hard to think. I usually end up pushing myself to do things. I rarely smile and am very emotionally unresponsive. This SSRI numbing garbage is frustrating me.
Is it worth it to keep taking it for another week?
The reason I had hope in zoloft was because paxil helped me many years ago, and gabapentin continues to help to some degree sometimes. Other meds which worked best for me include Parnate, Ritalin/Dexedrine, and Emsam. Parnate and Paxil have pooped out on me. Ritalin has built much tolerance. Gabapentin usually builds quick tolerance whereas I used to be able to take it daily with some decent results.
My dose is 25mg. For paxil the magic number was about 9.5mg. I am very sensitive to meds. What might be an equivilent dose for Zoloft? Since I'm suppossed to move up to 50mg soon.
I have strong melancholic depression and anxiety (anxiety is mostly taken care of via Valium). Generally very poor cognition, low energy, very poor memory, antero grade memory loss, low drive, low motivation, much anhedonia, very low interest, very poor ability to enjoy anything, low emotions, often very non reactive mood, etc.
I been considering other options such as Savella (not available in Canada), Latuda (not available), Emsam (again), Miraprex/Requip, Rolipram, Desipramine, Focalin, Aricept among few possible others. It frustrates me that it's difficult to order anything in Canada due to customs seizing things but not much I can do about that.
Some of these meds are indicated for memory because my memory issues are very very severe.
Please let me know your thoughts and any advice.
My past meds and other general information are shown below:
Biggest Issues: Severely poor long term memory and ability to retain new knowledge, Antero Grade Memory Loss, Poor Cognition, Lack of emotions, Anhedonia, Dysphoria, Mind feeling blocked/cloudy, Severe lack of enjoyment, Lack of drive/motivation/desire/sense of reward, Difficulty relating to others and feel bit like a zombie, Severe difficulty being social (also partially due to inability to relate), Anxiety (usually handled if I keep taking valium), Low energy
Effects of Memory and Cognitive Issues: Loss of current thought process and forgetfulness of what I was about to do, Forget what happened a day ago, people's names, difficulty imagining what people's faces look like, unable to recall events from tv shows/movies/media, slow speech usually, takes time to process thoughts and information,
Best Medications tried: Ritalin/Dex (especially first time), Parnate (first few months especially), Paxil (some resemblence of normalicy and integration into society). Valium/Ativan (some mood improvement + anti-anxiety), Gabapentin (Improvement of almost all symptoms including emotions and cognition, but tolerance builds quickly)
Benzo- Valium, Ativan, Klonopin, Xanax
SSRI- Celexa, Paxil, Zoloft,
SNRI/Other/Alternative- Wellbutrin, Effexor, Stablon, Remeron, Lithium, Adrafinil, Gabapentin, Narproxen, Vivarint, Buspar, Trivistal LA, ECT, rTMS, Reboxetine, Mirapex,
MAOI- Parnate, Nardil
Stimulant- Ritalin, Dexedrine, Provigil
Anti-Psychotics- Zyprexa, Risperidal, Abilify (as a low dose add-on), Seroquel,
Natural/Herbal- Rhodiola Rosea, Omega 3, Omega Complex, Korean Ginseng, Magnesium Glycinate, Royal Jelly, Niacin, Gingko Biloba, Bee Pollen, L-Arginine, Resveratrol, D3, Maca Root,
Sensitivities: Vitamin A, Sunlight,
Worse: Celexa (gradual worsening of depression and burning pain), Effexor (rapid worsening of depression and burning pain), Abilify (rapid worsening of depression when taken w Parnate), Cymbalta (gradual worsening of depression), Seroquel, ECT (Severely damaged my long term memory and overall cognition perminently), Nortriptyline, Lithium,
Better: Risperidal (some ability to enjoy things but overall would still be largely lacking), Parnate, Ritalin (first time this or Dexedrine was taken I was able to feel a bit like my old self, ability to experience pleasure, positive outlook, return of old hobbies, Was able to appreciate being alive), Dexedrine (similar to ritalin), Valium (some mood improvement, some anxiety improvement, most benzos have had similar effect), Ativan (was more social on this than other benzos while also on Paxil), Rhodiola Rosea (herbal similar to an MAOI) (A small miracle for mood, energy, cognition, general well being, would still be lacking pleasure. Has lost much effect over time), Gabapentin (tremendous cognitive improvement, imagination, more emotions, less cloudy thought process, feeling of greater intellectual capacity. Some improvement to mood, ability to be social. Although rapid tolerance onset, inconsistent, ironically sometimes cognitive impairment.), Vivarint (some mood improvement, massive improvement to sex drive),
Mixed Results: Remeron (sluggish on low doses, more active on higher doses, very mild mood improvement, impulsive spending), Zyprexa (some mood improvement, lot of lethargy, cognitive slowness, food tasted wonderful), Stablon, Modafinil (increased Cognition, Energy, Motivation but may compound dysphoria)
Negligible or Unsure: Nardil, Adrafinil, Narproxen, Buspar, rTMS (could not access any tangible improvement), Reboxetine, Mirapex, Piribedil, Klonopin, Wellbutrin,
Needs confirmation (not sure if taken): Prozac,