Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on June 4, 2012, at 20:31:14
I was writing a long post again of course this computer has a mind of its own, designed to peronally to make life more intresting by deleting all the post I am writing before I submit, and making wanting to smash this keyboard for deleting my long posts by just moving my finger to get my glass of water before I post them. This is nothing new....the universe himself would peronally choose to screw me of all my hard work to make it look I did nothing....lovely.
But let me rerember what wrote... Psychiatrists...and their counselors that I thought had my best intrest in mind...they would have collabretion between eachother and concluded I was mentally incompitant, and referred me in medical terms as an idiot, and continued to label me with some mental disorder that referred to an idiot, usally in terms of autism, disorganized schizophenia....which was recent, and developmental disorders that did make out of 5-10 years of age in problem solving solutions. You know I have to say, I have alot of distress thinking of all the insults people have given me, classifcation of mental disorders. The current psychiatrist I see....she's an addiction specialist and refused many medications I had requrest to her....has caused me to be vary frustrated to not treat a condition that is labeled addiction potentional, and leaves me with really sh*tty medications. I have realized that even all the medications that are avaibale throught a presciption, all of them if I was given them they would not improve my conditions, they would of course make feel better and relieve the anxiety, but it would not psyhically improve my quality of life....the way I communicate with people, doing stupid descions, having the label of a retarded person, with no understanding of the causes of it. Many years ago I used to see my father and my brother regularly they never put me down, but after a period of time of the same lowlife descions I made, it just was logically evident ... i really had something wrong, i would lie and try to cover it up .... but it didnt work. This is why I have chosen to rebel to religion because I tried my best to accomplish what people said that humans should ask God for blessings, I got mad....and decided that God had chosen me to be this way, and would not let me have a happy life. This is why I got all this intrest in lucifer....because he didnt want the sh*tty circumstances God forced him to follow, and he rebelled and decided to follow his own intellict.... and would refuse to worship something that caused us to be miserable. But I do know that something was causing lucifer to have its own intentions to rule all the universe above God, its roots in selfishness, and greed. And would have worse intentions of suffering than God does. Lucifer thinks about slavery and torment to get his gratification of power, of course will lie and say he cares.....his real intentions are of evil and if he ruled above God, it would result in all power to him with no mercy.
That's all....thank you for reading...
I am not a scholar but I do understand distress.
Medications:
Prozac 60mg
Zyprexa 20mg
Lamictal 50mg
Clonodine .1mg X 3
Nuvigil 250mg
poster:rjlockhart04-08
thread:1019247
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120522/msgs/1019247.html