Posted by lifelover on November 15, 2011, at 15:48:57
rough days guys rough days. After a good 7 months of remission(much thanks to nardil) Ive been in the dark for around a little over a year and a half because the hospital forced me off of the nardil due to sometype of psychotic episode which could have been because I hadnt slept in 2-3 days and had smoked pcp and weed. Im depressed because of SA so I wouldnt call myself majorily depressed because most of my though are somewhat bright. They are filled with hope, but there is no drive or motivation to act on them so far. I tell myself to wake up early to exercise and the time comes and I just cant seem to get myself out of bed. I try to stay disiplined with exercise and diet so I can lose weight so my pdoc will put me back on nardil and I can finally get my mind right, but I just cant seem to stay consistent with it enough to see any real results(except for one time I lost almost 15 lbs). Before I saught therapy and medication I used to do excstacy because it provided 100 percent instant relief of all symptoms for a couple of hours. I find myself craving it sometimes, even comtemplating going of meds so I can feel happy sometimes even if it is few and far between. But I always come back to realization that that is not the life I want for myself, and instead I should keep pushing foward on the right path, until I get it right. The way I see it is nardil worked in eliminating SA 70-100 % depending on the dose and the day, and I believe this time around in combination with lithium it will be even more effective in treating SA. Im just venting guys so Im sorry if Im boring any of u its just Ive been by myself most of these days since the hospitalization and it gets lonely sometimes.For now, I feel maybe if i post here more and gain more insight and knowledge maybe Il have more motivation. IDK thanks for reading feel free to post any insight or advice. Peace
poster:lifelover
thread:1002670
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20111110/msgs/1002670.html