Posted by Laurie1041 on May 28, 2011, at 10:38:16
In reply to Re: Med Crisis - Lost faith in pdoc need input! » Laurie1041, posted by floatingbridge on May 28, 2011, at 9:12:48
Dear Floatingbridge,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for speaking your truth given the facts that I have presented.
I realized yesterday that my sister, whom I love with all my heart, continually shuts me down when I discuss my pain, my anger, my resentment over spending roughly 2 1/2 years in hell after finally "waking up" when I was hospitalized in April after almost taking my life while in a mixed episode that began 2 days after being insructed to resume Adderrall. My sister's point is that since I do not have another pdoc on board at this point and that the offending agent has been removed (Adderrall) and that I am slowly getting rid of the SSRI's, why get distracted or otherwise angry by this?
But, I keep thinking back to 2009, when I had lost at least 20 pounds and was sporting tattoos AND I was seeing my pdoc in outpatient once a week! This could have been stopped at that time by stopping the Adderral. I want my pdoc to hear my anger in a way that is productive, perhaps I will write a letter as a means of getting clearer on this before I present my feelings.
My sister asked me a question; she asked me, "do you want to feel better or be right"? I replied, "Why can't I have both?" She asked me, "Do you feel that Dr. So and So was trying to help you to the best of his ability?" The answer would be yes. "Do you feel that Dr. So and So is incompetent?" The answer would have to be no because I have seen a lot of very incompetent pdocs. "Do you feel that Dr. So and So wants to help and will do anything to help?" The answer is yes. "Can you wait until you further explore your options by interviewing several other pdocs?" I guess I have to. I feel that my treatment would not be construed in a court of law as malpractice, because there are any given number of pdocs out there who do much more egregious acts. I just feel outraged that I have had to go through this experience in April and my family are very, very disturbed and think I am completely bonkers.
IMO, there is no such thing as "Do no harm" in psychiatry. Mood disorders and other mental illness are cruel and the medications we currently have often do more harm than good.
poster:Laurie1041
thread:986374
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110515/msgs/986454.html