Posted by g_g_g_unit on May 27, 2011, at 10:22:30
In reply to Re: Narcissism no longer in DSM » sigismund, posted by SLS on May 25, 2011, at 8:01:05
I can only offer my personal experience as a professionally diagnosed 'covert' narcissist. As others have rightly noted, narcissism's classification as a "disorder" isn't without merit - and I reject the proposal that all narcissists are "self-centered bores" completely oblivious to social reality. Of course, my classification as a narcissist might, by definition, negate any opinion I venture of myself, but I've found that my relationship to the disorder is multifaceted and that, like an illicit drug, it can either be your best companion or your worst enemy.
The irony is that, for all its implied grandiosity, the sense of self-worth conferred by NPD is so shambolic, unpredictable, and barely set to weather the storms of life (let alone the chaos of mental illness). I found that it first became a notable presence in my life at the precise moment that my Axis I disorders (ADHD, OCD) began to take hold, setting out to distract me from the painful ego-violation contained therein.
For a while, there was a point where my narcissistic ambition felt reasonably in sync with my environment, and I suppose if that was sustainable, it might present as less of a 'disorder'. But the ugliest side has emerged now, when I am left to contend with my (vastly) reduced functionality, yet my 'narcissism', like a petulant, irrational child, continues to latch onto any small scrap of achievement as a sign of my 'superiority'. It's a fraught, painful and pathetic process that finds me oscillating between empty highs and crippling lows.
But then I'm always left wondering about how others might react in my position - whether those whose career ambitions and leaps at self-actualization were thwarted, leaving them with dwindled life prospects, would choose to 'settle'?
Is that a question of narcissism, or dignity?
poster:g_g_g_unit
thread:985541
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110515/msgs/986353.html