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Perphenazine, PLease help...freaking out

Posted by B2Chica on April 11, 2011, at 7:57:27

ok, so i know i should be back on my zyprexa, but i gained 25lb when they put me on 10.
now i'm afraid to go back on it...not because of the weight. everytime i pick up the pill bottle i get SUPER high anxiety and all i can hear is 'dont take it, dont take it, put it away"
so i made the mistake of tellign my pdoc this and now he's really 'concerned'.
So now he's perscribed perphenazine because he said there's less chance of weight gain with this one.
BUT
im COMPLETELY freaking out to take it.
i saw pdoc on friday. went to the pharmacy so i wouldnt chicken out later. they told me they didnt have it in stock. they called around to other pharmacies for me, no one had it. So they ordered it and its supposed to come in today.
BUT NOW im convinced that they didnt have it in stock cuz im not meant to take it. that THIS is the one thats going to really mess me up.

"what if it paralyzes me, what if it gives me a stroke, what if it causes brain damage, what if it kills my brain and i cant think anymore, i loose my job? have to go back into the hospital. and i'm so unaware that they send me to an institution!!!!!!!
SEE i'm Freakng out! one thought leads to another.
now i think Part of this is from my 'disease'(whatever) but part of this is legit. i once had a drug that gave me bad ataxia right before i became pretty much paralyzed and was 'locked-in' (could hear and see everything but couldnt move, or talk.)

but i think no one having it is a sign that i'm NOT supposed to take this one.

ok so what about going back on zyprexa right? i have the 5mg at home i could just take it. Just pick up the freaking bottle and Take it...
but i cant and want to cry at the thought of it.
i'm SO freaking afraid of it.
course Not as afraid of the perphenazine.

SO PLEASE will someone out there tell me about perphenazine. are you on it? what side effects.
and did it help?

b2c.


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poster:B2Chica thread:982457
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110406/msgs/982457.html