Posted by Deneb on November 1, 2010, at 17:26:01
In reply to Re: Deneb, how is today going? » Deneb, posted by floatingbridge on November 1, 2010, at 16:07:04
Thanks Dinah, Thanks floatingbridge
I went out and walked around a bit at the mall. I seem to be better in the mornings and then get progressively worse as the day goes on, getting the worse at night before I take my meds. I'm wondering if it is the Risperdal wearing off. Anyways, I took 0.25 mg Risperdal 30 mins ago as a sort of prophylaxis as I could tell my thinking was starting to get messed up again.
Anyways, I still feel depressed. I started thinking about how I ruined my life. Not only did I not become a doctor or scientist to make my family proud, I can't even support myself and don't have a family or anything. I can't even look for a job without relapsing. I just wish I could handle normal amounts of stress like normal people. It's not fair. Why do I have so many mental problems?
I'm just so disappointed in myself. I really thought I was over the borderline personality. I was doing so well! I don't think my latest relapse is a result of me skipping meds because borderline personality is not helped by meds. I'm really not supposed to rely on meds. They probably help me because they just calm me down. They would probably calm anyone down. It's just so disappointing. I was using my new coping skills and everything, I don't understand why I relapsed. I just hate myself. I'm so weak.
poster:Deneb
thread:967714
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20101030/msgs/967958.html