Posted by crabwalk on September 21, 2010, at 20:52:39
I know it's not a simple yes or no. I have been sick for a long time, but never have I let anyone besides doctors/therapists know exactly how bad it is - even professionals I think I paint a (relatively) rosier picture for. I want to tell people that I'm barely holding on, but I think in the long run there really isn't much they can do to help because they can't possibly understand, and that I'll just make them worry or suggest things that are merely palliative. These band-aids are ok in the short term, but my long-term future is what haunts me (i'm 27). It's hard to imagine continuing feeling the way I have for the past 6 or so years, and it's hard to imagine that, as stable as these feelings (particularly post-ssri numbness) have been, will change in response to drugs, therapy, meditation, you name it. None of my loved ones know this about me, and I feel I don't have the heart to tell them. But increasingly I feel like I can't hide it, like I'm living a contrived double life.
I imagine this is probably a theme with many of us...?