Posted by Maxime on September 12, 2010, at 19:50:28
In reply to suicidality exhaustion..., posted by linkadge on September 12, 2010, at 15:20:09
I am really *disgusted* by what you wrote. I have tried to attempt suicide and the method was fool proof and yet, it didn't work. One time I went into the woods (the type in residential areas where no one goes). I wrapped myself in blankets and then a shower curtain to help keep the wildlife away from me. I drank a bottle of scotch and took [xxx] of Dilantin. According to my research [xxx] was fatal but I wanted to be sure. So as I was laying there waiting to die I feel something licking my face ... it was a dog. The owner had let him go off leash because the dog went balistic when it smelled me from the street deep into the woods. The owner called 911.
In 2008 I had an attempt that landed me in a coma.
Also, I can be suicidal with no intention of killing myself. I guess that is just suicidal ideation. Like now, I really want to kill myself but I am thinking of others and I realise how much it would hurt them. There are times that I pass over the line because I suddenly see myself as burden to others and THAT's when I am more likely to attempt to kill myself. And that's when I call the Crisis Centre. So I am doing something to protect myself by calling the Centre.
I assure you that I am not looking for attention because I don't want that TYPE of attention. Yes, I have tried several times to attempt suicide and I have failed. It doesn't mean that didn't want to kill myself.
Bipolar Type 2, ED-NOS, Self-hatred
Being happy doesn´t mean the pain is gone. you just bury it deeper.