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Re: disability - Proudfoot - SLS » morgan miller

Posted by Dinah on September 7, 2010, at 20:23:36

In reply to Re: disability - Proudfoot - SLS, posted by morgan miller on September 7, 2010, at 19:05:56

> How do you know that a baby is expected to be able to handle flaws in a mother and father's ability to nurture. Don't you think that if that were the case the world would be a much better place. Also, I believe that a child predisposed to mental illness has a much better chance with a very well adjusted mother and father that make it a point to do everything they can to properly love and nurture their child.

I think our therapies are different. My therapist would likely concentrate on the disappointment and disillusionment that come from not accepting the reality of what life is. That even the best motivated parents aren't perfect. That learning to accept that others aren't perfect (and that we aren't perfect) is an integral part of learning to be in relationship with others.

> As far as animals are concerned-1: they are much less complex and tend to need much less as far as nurturing a love is concerned, in this sense, they are better designed to be able to handle less. Animals act more on instincts, and very little or no emotions, depending on the animal. 2: It could be argued that our closest animal relatives, apes and chimpanzees, do a much better job of parenting in some ways than we do. The mother's always keep their children close. They know how much to protect their children and they know when to allow them to have freedom. Apes and chimpanzees love unconditionally and are not critical in anyway(I realize they can really be since they cannot speak to their children like humans can). Being human means being very complex and complicated. Thus, being a parent is a very difficult and complex job, involving tons of patience, tons of observation, tons of care, tons of dedication, and tons and tons of unconditional love.

Well, I'm not sure I believe in unconditional love. Perhaps I'm defining it too narrowly. I do believe that being a parent is difficult and complex, and that parents should cultivate patience, dedication, and love.

It's not my understanding that non-human primates are that uncomplex themselves. Young mothers need to learn how to be a mother, there are "aunts" and "uncles" who help out, conflict with children is not unusual during specific stages of life, and stressed out mothers can parent badly and even reject their young. Even non-primates vary widely in their parenting abilities within a species.

 

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