Posted by GreenP on April 7, 2010, at 0:41:44
In reply to Re: Help! Not Responding to Nardil :( » GreenP, posted by ace on April 6, 2010, at 8:20:33
Thanks so much to both of you for your speedy responses! Sorry about the mix up... what I meant is that I've been on Nardil a total of 5 weeks and 3 days. 4 weeks on 40 mg and 1 week and 3 days on 60... and also, what I meant to say was that I am feeling worse than I was when I was on SSRI's. (I went off of SSRI's hoping that an MAOI would help more with all the other messed up feelings I am still having.) I kind of wrote this post in a desperate scramble so sorry about all the typos.
It's so good to hear that there might be a surprise around the corner, I've been so lost ever since I went off the SSRIs. My family's really starting to worry about me and they want me off of this stuff. But the way I was living on SSRIs wasn't truly living either. The depression wasn't gone, more like muted, and I never got excited about anything. It's like I was watching the world go on from a distance. But I wasn't crying all the time, so it seems to outsiders that I'm doing worse. I have such high hopes for this medication. And I don't want to go off of it if there's any chance that it may work. I'm desperate enough for a chance at a real life to wait and stay on it. It's just tough sometimes, you know? I get tired of feeling crazy all the time. All of my anxiety is centered around things that I cognitively know aren't things to be afraid of. When I talk to people, I know that even if I am awkward, it doesn't matter. Who cares? If anything they will think, "oh that chic was awkward" and then they'll forget about it. But it's more than that, it's the feeling. There is this feeling that arises in me when I am around people. It happens no matter what, even when I know it's not warranted. It's the same with the depression, separation anxiety and sensitivity to rejection. All things that I can cognitively sort out, but the feeling remains. And it exhausts me. It makes me gray. It hurts so badly. It has stolen my life. So if there's any chance in the world that this could help me with that, then I will wait. I have to.
poster:GreenP
thread:502328
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20100406/msgs/942584.html