Posted by moonshadow on October 17, 2009, at 19:34:45
9 years ago, I was in a bad place - diagnosed with MDD, Bioploar, PTSD, among other things. I was on a TON of meds, none of which seemed to help. 9 psych hospitalizations w/i just a couple of years. A few years later, I got myself out of therapy, off of meds, and married. Life was good. Now I'm in therapy again, and until the past week or so I wasn't really depressed. Even my pdoc didn't think so.
But suddenly I feel like I'm being sucked back down into a black hole. All I want to do is lie in bed. I'm not hungry, I'm just... depressed. And it's awful. S/I is back, a bit, as well.
I don't understand how I could have lived life for a good 6 years w/o meds or therapy and been somewhat 'normal', fairly happy, and not really depressed. I don't know where this is coming from. I guess in my mind I blamed my meds for my depression. I'm scared as s#%t to even consider going back on them (bad side effects, esp with the mood stabilizers and anti-psychotics)
Nothing in my life has changed, really. I'm in therapy again, but she's good about making sure I pace myself. Where is this coming from? Does depression do this, where it comes and goes after years?
-moonshadow, who has spent the day in bed, crying.
poster:moonshadow
thread:921298
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20091012/msgs/921298.html