Posted by g_g_g_unit on September 6, 2009, at 23:51:24
In reply to Re: Parnate day 1 » g_g_g_unit, posted by ace on September 6, 2009, at 23:31:52
> > took my first dose of 10mg this morning (5 hours ago). felt a little stimulated, but not in a pleasant or uplifting way. i feel sad ... like nothing will help me at this point ... like no drug will ever get me thinking clearly again ...
>
> This feeling is common, try your very best to endure it, we are all batting for you. As time passes things will get better....hold on to that thought...
>
> that all i'm doing is ingesting panaceas designed to numb me to that fact. it's way too early to be complaining, i realise, but still ... OCD is plaguing me with doubts ...
>
> Release that it's the OCD not YOU....isolate yourself from the OCD thoughts. Watch them...see them as aberrant biochemical activity
>
>
> >
> > i have this mental itinerary of all the things i should be doing to make my life better ... exercising, reading, socializing, but don't have the will or executive function to even begin structuring a 'day'.
>
> Oh boy! I know this feeling! What I suggest is just start with 2 things- 1 hour reading, 1/2/3 hour going out socializing...library, shops, etc etc Be gentle with yourself and just accept the feelings for the moment, but do that one hour!
> Then have a reward after each activity....3 weeks time it should take hold...each day build your activities up- add 1 every day...the impetus and motivation will come- it has too!
>
>
>
> still, for some reason i keep telling myself that i'm not depressed. sorry, i'm just so bored ... it feels like i live my life waiting out doctor and specialist visits. i'm going to go out for a walk now. it's the least i can do ...
>
> Keep keeping on- you are doing an admirable job...
>
> Peace,
> Ace:)
>
> PS- give the Parnate time, I have a good feeling for you!
>
thanks for the tips, especially regarding life structuring. that is something i have the most difficulty with. a huge component of my depression is related to my perfectionism, i.e. if i can't do *everything* i want to do, i won't do *anything*. i enjoy, as you mentioned, just walking around the city, but often feel too guilty to do so .. like i'm not doing anything meaningful with my life/time. i'll give reading a shot too.. the problem is i get bored reading trash, but find anything too complicated difficult at the moment.
poster:g_g_g_unit
thread:915948
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090902/msgs/915957.html