Posted by Cseagraves on May 23, 2009, at 14:39:01
Hi to all.
I am running out of options. Need to find something to stop this severe gad, agoraphobia, which has led to depression. Am tired of not being able to go out of house without panicking. Tired of feeling so constantly hopeless and dread. Am tired of living this way. Actually started to plan out my suicide this morning, but got hold of myself, trying to believe that there is something out there that would help. Have no insurance, so can't check into a hospital.
Tired of no motivation, no energy, constant tenseness in head and throughout body, only sleeping because of sleep med, but not good sleep, because of anxiety. Slight trembling constant rigidness. Have had no appetite in months. Have been surviving on soup and Slimfast shakes.
Last med tried, was Nardil, but only seem to make worse (add vomiting after three weeks of being on it). Have been off Nardil for two weeks now. Was thinking about Celexa, but don't know how much that will help with anxiety. Looked up alot on Paxil, which seems to be the script for anxiety, but OMG the horror stories.
I'm not afraid to take a med, just dread coming off when they don't work. Am afraid if paxil doesn't work am wondering if coming off would be all that awful. Scared I will fall into a deeper depression if it doesn't because have no clue what I would do next. If paxil would work and keep me stable for a time, I would take for the rest of my life or until it poops. I was amazed to see people taking and saying it worked only to come off because of low sex and gaining weight (unless weight becomes unhealthy).
Have looked up info on effexor and wellbutrin, but not sure if they will help. I've taken Lexapro and Zoloft which didn't help, which didn't help. (Had allergic reaction to zoloft) Looked up Prozac, but not sure about anxiety on that one either.
Have also taken seroquel, but have extreme muscle cramping above 100 to 150 mgs. Just makes you kind of blunt. I have tons of xanax, but I would have to take so much to stop anxiety, it wouldn't be worth it. So I only take at night with 25 mgs. of seroquel to sleep. Will take some small dosages during the day, but it really doesn't help anymore.
I don't expect anything to last forever, but some stability for a little while would be nice. I'm sure withdrawals from Paxil aren't pleasant, but as depressed and suicidal as I feel right now, what could be worse.
I don't think buspar would put a dent in my levels of anxiety.
My husband and son are going to a birthday party tonight and as usual, I will be sitting at home.
Physically everything is taking its toll. My looks have plummeted. I look awful now. Very pale and losing weight.
Starting to just not care anymore.
Will be seeing pdoc again on Wednesday, but have no idea where to go with this.
Need to find something that works on anxiety, agoraphobia, social phobia and panic which has now led to depression.
Any advice?
Courtney
poster:Cseagraves
thread:897273
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090515/msgs/897273.html