Posted by Meltingpot on April 5, 2009, at 7:21:44
In reply to Re: To Scott » Meltingpot, posted by desolationrower on April 4, 2009, at 23:08:53
Hi,
I used to be an implementation Manager at IBM in ebusiness hosting, my depression started about 2 years before I was made redundant though. I have had a lot of other jobs since then.
I'm really worried that my depression might have become more resistant.
Back in my twenties antidepressants worked really well for me, it didn't matter which AD they just seemed to work very well and very quickly.
Then when I hit 35, I started having major problems with depression and anxiety and suicidal thoughts again.
Between 2001 and 2003 I tried Seroxat, Zooloft, Mirtazapine, lithium, lamictal, tegretol, Nardil effexor, prozac and prothiaden and I think there might have been others in there.
Then in 2003 the Psychiatrist put me on 40mg of Seroxat and I started to feel better again :-) . Then in 2005 the Seroxat seemed to stop being so effective, in that I seemed to stop enjoying things as much but even then I didn't feel as bad as I had back in 2001.
The psychiatrist tried adding buspar, lithium, T3 to the Seroxat to no avail, even so I was still not suicidal during this time.
Then I did a switch from Seroxat to lexapro and the lexapro seemed to start helping a bit, in that I felt stronger and more motivated (still had problems with anxiety though but bearable).
Last year, I felt the lexapro stopped working, in that anxiety and lack of motivation came back, I tried switching back to Seroxat but still no joy. Since November of last year I've been having a lot of suicidal ideations. I hate being this way.
Zyprexa seems to help with the anxiety still but I'm still feeling very apathetic. Nothing has worked as well as Seroxat did back in 2003, I actually started to feel like I was actually living a life again, you know having relationships, going out socialising, going on holiday etc and then 2005 all that went away.
Just need some encouragement right now as I'm starting to feel very despondent. I'm feeling very negative and need some hope that things will get better.
I'd try ECT but I feel negative about even that working.
Thanks....Denise
poster:Meltingpot
thread:886950
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090330/msgs/888786.html