Posted by g_g_g_unit on March 13, 2009, at 9:25:14
so i've now been on nardil of total of 8 weeks, 6 weeks @ 60mg, and overall it has been a mixed yet interesting experience.
on the plus side: i would like to concur that, side-effects not withstanding, this, in terms of pure AD effect completes immolates SSRI's; i feel no emotional numbness, no drugged out feeling, etc. i haven't experienced any identifiable 'kick-in' that people describe; rather the effects can mainly be pinned down to subtle changes in my interactions with people. after 4 years spent alienated from my family, i am a lot more open with my parents now, and can actually sustain a genuine conversation with my mom and dad. i have also had my personality restored to baseline, and am able to joke around again etc. after feeling emotionally/mentally void from what i believe was chronic SSRI withdrawal last year (yet which was naturally diagnosed as depression by pdoc). at this stage, there is no strong pro-social effect. i am still shy around strangers, especially girls, though will maybe feel more comfortable in striking up a conversation with shopkeepers, etc.
now for the bad:
i am not sure whether it's a rebound effect from benzos, or a lack of sleep, or even a boost in confidence after a life spent being pushed around by others, but i am A LOT more aggressive at times, and will actively seek out confrontations so that i can prove myself capable of standing up to others. my sleep is also horrendous. even with breaks of up to 2 days at a time, i am now almost completely tolerant to zipoclone, temazepam and clonazepam. each allows me an unbroken sleep period of 3 or so hours, after which i will experience small snatches of 20-minutes or so of sleep at time without actually realizing it (my only indicator is that time seems to be moving faster than usual). on nights i dont take a benzo, i pile up on alternative supplements (skullcap, inositol, p5p, melatonin) and experience 3 or so hours of sleep that is far less refreshing than the same amount on a benzo. the last time i sleep decently was 4 days ago. since then i;ve had maybe 12 hours of sleep, and am feeling incredibly edgy/distressed. coffee has been a definite saviour in preventing narcoleptic collapse during this whole trial. also have inorgasmia, bad gas, constipation (which are more tolerable i guess). It has not touched my OCD and i still have bad bouts of depersonalization. also strangely due to the pleasure it induces in everyday activity, i am a LOT more hedonistic. i am motivated yet mainly applying that motivation to socialization, working out at the gym etc. i have far less interest in confronting phobic activities yet guess that's what therapy's for. no weight gain so far. memory's pretty bad.
so ... overall ... i appreciate its positive effect on my personality yet can barely function due to insomnia. i am meeting my pdoc on tuesday for the first time since i began it so will see what he has to say. as i mentioned in another thread, for personal reasons i refuse to remain on a sleep-med longterm, and will def. not take an anti-psychotic, so if the insomnia does not ease up then i'm afraid i will have to discontinue it. neverhteless, i am incredibly scared of coming off it due to the way it has had such a positive effect on my physical anxiety, whose inevitable return i dread. is there a chance insomnia can lessen at 75mg or will it just make it worse? also, i am tolerating the anti-choligernic effects for now, but if i do stay on will definitely look into augmentation (i remember Chairman-MAO saying he had great success with galantamine). i also have a bottle of GPC-choline which i have yet to touch.
poster:g_g_g_unit
thread:885152
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20090313/msgs/885152.html