Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on December 1, 2008, at 13:26:03
I'm writing this, to see what's going on? My therpist, i respect him, but he's not helping. He did say some parts of me are "rigid", but didnt explain why? he just mostly focuses on meditation and hypnosis session, he want to talk, he wants to do his procudure, which...i think he's a life couch therpist/ not a CBT, or PsychoDynamic therapy
I pulled this up, just if wanted to read...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personality_disorder
Medication....is part of helping, when i was kid, around 11 i just wasnt intrested in things, my mom just thought i was bored....but now, i was depressed, negative thinking, because of the enviorment i grew up in. A "controlled" pattern. My mom controlled everything i did, and today! she is a control freak, she doesnt make sense because her world is her world, its not the real reality. There is NO benefit with argue, yelling, because....i obverved, she thinks it's fun, but get angry, and then after i tell "ok we agreed", she will act like nothing occured.
And, as a result, i'm depressed because Averge parents would help, and want their children to be succesfull, not just...live a horrible life. No...
So, coping with working, high intense stress, i go numb....its like something else takes over because, i can't handle it.
But....i hate the fact, "mood darkeners" such as Lithium, Haldol, they dont really benefit life, or that person, they just "keep" them zoned, that's the dark part of Psychiatry. And also, not being able to communicate and to a doctor/psychitrist/nuerologist that, the treatment is not working. My psychiatrist...high paid! but he's a Pedicatric/Adolecent Psychiatrist....i need a Psychiatrist that knows indepth about problems, this one does not. How do i know? where do i go? "Specielized Psychitry", a doctor that can understand what the symptoms are....and how miserable it causes life to be, to the point where moments just "that thought" ******* comes to mind.
And i want to get off Prozac....i'm starting to think itself is maybe causing thinking problems.I feel 15 diffrent feelings, which include thoughts, that are dwell, and i'm usally prepared in my mind for the worst, to happen, so it wont be a shock, because bad things have happened, and i didnt understand in the past.
Just some thought from anyone?
rj
*by the way....sometimes i dont get on babble because, i cannot explain the dissmotivation, and "dysfunction" i feel, i know that people will reject me, because its happened so much. I'm programmed to meet a person, but i dont get close relationship, obvious reasons.
So....at least i got all this junk i feel outside.
In mean time.....i gotta get new theprist, but right now, Dr-bob/babble for years has been a support system, because my mother, is stubburn, and she loves to fight, and 2009, its time!
Wish luck to you all, i just gotta get this out because NO ONE listen, or hears this, and it builds up to the point to a breakdown, i had one in 2006, and i just stayed idle....for a long time. Now, it's seem 2005, is still current, because that's where alot of memory is right now. After that....it just passive.
rj
poster:rjlockhart04-08
thread:866082
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20081123/msgs/866082.html