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Re: new anti psychotic discovered - Fonzapine » Jeroen

Posted by Molybdenum on May 26, 2008, at 23:39:56

In reply to Re: new anti psychotic discovered - Fonzapine, posted by Jeroen on May 25, 2008, at 3:12:02

Hey.....

It took me a while but I finally found a data sheet on the drug. Turns out it was discovered a long time ago, was a popular "street drug" for a short time but has not been available for 40 years and is now banned in most countries. Here is is:

Fonzapine: bi-cylic depressant, it is a non specific FAE (Female Adulation Enhancer). It is designated (R/S)-1-[2-(blackleatheramano)-1-(4-Joaniephenyl)Mrs.C] cycloharleydavidsonol hydroBorrringide. While sometimes abused, it is colloquially known as "Happydaze" - a black powder that, for the general population, is difficult to tolerate and almost impossible to swallow, although it does dissolve well in ethanol if mixed with the catalysts cocacolanol or pepsiburpolot.

It is unique in that it's affinity for binding decreases over time, while it's molecular weight increases and is directly inversely proportional to it's rating. Its formula is of standard sitcom construction and has a distinctly sweet sickly smell that is difficult to mask.

Fonzapine must be taken on an empty stomach. Failure to do so has produced an emetic response in 94% of trial participants. Hence it is now enjoying somewhat of a revival of interest as a valuable tool to be employed in an emergency setting when an overdose of more toxic drugs is suspected.

Other than it's success as an emetic, Fonzapine has been found to be useful in the treatment of Cunninghams Syndrome - a rare disease characterised by an addiction to pot-roast, cheeseburgers and carbonated beverages. Cunninghams Syndrome is not usual fatal although it has been found to induce suicidal ideation in those witnessing it.

Dependence is generally not found in patients under 40 years of age. Over 40 years, males exhibited a dependence rate of 9.37%, while the female rate was found to be relatively high - up to 95.13%. Interestingly, these figures correspond to the estimated rates of homosexual men & heterosexual woman in the USA. See http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080417160636AAw91WY.

In the dependence affected groups, overdose is not uncommon. Symptoms include slurred speech, distended abdomen and in particular the tendency to say "Heeeeeyyyyyyy..." and oddly enough "Sit on it". Lavage with activated charcoal is recommended as a dependence dis-insensitivator. Full remission is obtained "one week" after cessation of Fonzapine.
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So there you have it. Sounds dangerous. I'd recommend staying well away from it at all costs...!


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