Posted by yxibow on December 24, 2007, at 22:56:33
In reply to is my brain just going to die?, posted by iforgotmypassword on December 22, 2007, at 16:44:52
> what planet am i on? i can't think through anything. i just confused the hell out of myself taking a shower, drying myself and clothing myself. pushing through the steps of anything, nothing gets through.
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> and i'm tired of being around people and feeling intoxicated when i am not. it is very humiliating.
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> existing like this is so humiliating.
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> i don't even know where to look to think of what could help.
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> i feel as if things can't get any worse and then they do. is this all i'm alive for? to experience myself going senile...?
I don't know your diagnosis but I can vouch for what I experienced in the first part.I had several traumatic events this year, ending up with a period where (I'm not psychotic, I have a rare disorder) I was not protected by Seroquel.
I couldn't make a choice on anything, I didn't know my dirty clothes from my clean clothes basket without a lot of thought. I couldn't put on a belt.
My father had to show me what I was doing wrong with the belt. (I'm 32, if that adds any context to this, its not terribly relevant actually).
The point is, severe anxiety, episodes of dropping Seroquel, a pseudo-suicide attempt, made for a very confusing summer. I'm still not back to planet Earth. But I'm closer than I used to. The Seroquel, 400 now is about 325 before. The Luvox does help somewhat though I'm on a low dose.
I've had to accept a tic disorder caused possibly by Seroquel, though I still have to take it, for now, until I can go to Clozaril or figure out what my next strategy and hopefully the 4 day a week therapy that I am doing will lessen the need for all of the above.
You can fall and still find your way. The most important thing is a support system and if you don't have one, a local NAMI chapter is a good start. The thing is to not stop giving up on yourself no matter what people may think of you or what you perceive they do. If you don't have access to good therapy, I would suggest some good books to read about relaxation therapy and the old Feeling Good, for what its worth.Since I don't know your diagnosis and medications I can't add further because I would be making suppositions other than I think there's some underlying anxiety spectrum disorder.
I'm just taking the first steps myself to get myself out there. In the end, you can't wait for everything to be perfect to start living.
If you are already in therapy or have a doctor, you might want a second opinion. Nothing wrong with that.
Cheers and a peaceful time of the year for you- Jay
poster:yxibow
thread:802103
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20071213/msgs/802495.html