Posted by Gary Engel on September 29, 2007, at 13:45:56
I'm 38 y.o. WM. I recently lost my best friend (my brother) unexpectedly. He was my best friend in the world. I really didn't have other close friends besides him. I am married with two kids 5 and 7. I've had anxiety/panic since I was 18 years old, but it was always tolerable and I made it through college and have worked as an RN x 14 years now. Right around the time my brother passed away, I started having terrible anxiety, not so much panic attacks. To make a long story short, I've had a thorough medical workup which was negative. I've been in counseling every week since march. I've been out of work since march due to this. I've seen 5 different Psychiatrists, every medication I've taken whether it be an SSRI or depakote, wellbutrin, or nortriptaline has made me sick, like I have the flu. The meds also exacerbate my anxiety 4 fold. I've tried every SSRI and a few of them more than once. Even on 2.5mg of Lexapro, I get sick. I'm off the Lex now as my 4th try on it only lasted 6 days before I had to abort. I've been on serzone for years and was fine on it, but now I'm weaning off. I was on the highest dose you can take and it stopped working. I'm down to 150mg/day and getting ready to drop another 25-50mg in a few days. Other than that I take Klonopin 1mg twice/day, I take a beta blocker for the anxiety, and I take Xanax 0.5mg as needed. I'm a complete mess. I get terrible depression and anxiety. The depression seems to get better on the meds immediately, but since I can't tolerate them ???????? My anxiety is manageable with the Xanax, but on the meds it is out of control. My psychiatrist is a 30 year veteran from Johns Hopkins. I like him, but he thinks I'm conditioned to taking a pill a getting sick. In other words, I make myself sick when I stick a pilll in my mouth. I disagree with him, as I can't make my stomach rumble and be heard across the room, I can't make my anxiety flip off the charts...It's not even panic I get...just the worst anxiety I've ever experienced on the meds. No sweating or palpitations, just an uncomfortable feeling in my chest. Like I said, it's better off the meds. Trying to figure out what to do next. I'm on disability from my work now and I have a private plan, which together I'm bringing in more money than if I was well and working, but I only have 18 more months of that and then I will have to live off of SS. So I need to get well quick and get myself back to work...........Any help or suggestions would be great....BTW, I've tried accupuncture, hypnotherapy, and have read every self help book out there. I know this is all in my head, the question is, Is this chemical or is this in my control? Havn't figured it out yet. Also, my father suffered from this when he was about my age, and Zoloft fixed him, so he claims. Of course Zoloft made me sick too. I have an uncle who suffers and doesn't go too far from home. And my dad tells me me great grandmother suffered as well
poster:Gary Engel
thread:785903
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070929/msgs/785903.html