Posted by reese7194 on September 26, 2007, at 19:14:57
In reply to Re: Treatment Resistant Thoughts, posted by back4abit on September 21, 2007, at 9:27:48
treatment resistant - is a nightmare. i have been on every med there is. from parkinson's to even more expermental meds. worked with some of the most respected and well known people from robert cancro at nyu to others.
he used to run some interesting and advanced tests. finally he felt the only thing that could help was something called "stereotactic" surgery. but it was not known if it would actually work. if one looks at what that surgery is, it is not something.... i couldn't do it.
i found one of the main guys at mclean to be the best, most helpful and caring.
but in the end i feel that it all ends up to nothing and more of you becoming nothing. it is like breaking a bone. the first few times you set it and it heals. but if you continue to break it again and again it can no longer be healed.
i have had to come to the realization, which took me a long time to almost say outloud, that i will never be who i used to be.now my life is filled with the action of passing time through the actions that end up to almost less than nothing.
to me there is a stage that is not talked about if one does not take off (literally meaning checking out) for some reason it is never mentioned what happens if you don't do this. and you do not get better but get worse.
there is this weird state you enter. where you are almost like a person walking around who is not there. almost like being a person who is not really alive but just bones.
sorry for the fun comments.
poster:reese7194
thread:783554
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20070919/msgs/785377.html